Friday, June 19, 2015

Good morning crew,

A big weekend coming up.

The second half of the wife's 3rd degree promotion test is tomorrow, then Sunday is not only Father's Day, it is also the summer solstice!

At first I suggested that we host a little cookout at the house Saturday afternoon so the wife and her taekwondo friends can celebrate their promotion, but it is supposed to rain.

Then I suggested that the wife invite her parents over on Sunday for a cookout to celebrate Father's Day (and the solstice), but it is supposed to rain Sunday, too.

I don't think I've ever seen so much rain. It has rained almost every day for the last two weeks, and the forecast is for rain all next week.

It's starting to put a cramp in my social life.

Fortunately I bought a house with a bar in the basement.

As long as the sump pump doesn't fail.

And for all the dads subscribed to Clean Laffs I have put together a few, fun 'dad' quotes in today's issue. Enjoy.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"Dad's are born without the sympathy gene. You can break your leg, hobble into your house, and all your dad will do is look over the paper and grumble, 'Shake it off!'" --Robert G. Lee

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"A tornado touched down, uprooting a large tree in the front yard and demolishing the house across the street. Dad went to the door, opened it, surveyed the damage, muttered, 'Damn kids...' and closed the door." --Tom Conway

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"My dad's a writer. His favorite expression is 'The pen is mightier than the sword,' which I believed for a long time. Until I moved into the city, and I got into a fight with this guy. He cut me up real bad, and I drew a mustache on his face...and then I wrote him a nasty letter." --Kevin Brennan

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A very zealous soul-winning young preacher recently came upon a Farmer working in his field. Being concerned about the farmer's soul the preacher asked the man, "Are you laboring in the vineyard of the Lord, my good man?"

Not even looking at the preacher and continuing his work, the farmer replied, "Naw, these are soybeans."

"You don't understand," said the preacher. "Are you a Christian?"

With the same amount of interest as his previous answer the farmer said, "Nope my name is Jones. You must be looking for Jim Christian. He lives a mile south of here."

The young determined preacher tried again asking the farmer, "Are you lost?"

"Naw! I've lived here all my life," answered the farmer.

"Are you prepared for the resurrection?" the frustrated preacher asked.

This caught the farmer's attention and he asked, "When's it gonna be?"

Thinking he had accomplished something the young Preacher replied, "It could be today, tomorrow, or the next day!"

Taking a handkerchief from his back pocket and wiping his brow, the farmer remarked, "Well, don't mention it to my wife. She don't get out much and she'll wanna go all three days!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realized that the Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole a bike and asked Him to forgive me.