Monday, June 16, 2014

Good morning crew,

Another weekend, another round of house shopping. I am actually starting to get pretty good at this stuff. At the last house I was crawling around inside the crawl space and asking the homeowner (who just happened to be there) all sorts of questions about the sump pump, the foundation, drainage and other things I couldn't care less about living in the condo.

Of course, after nearly three months of this stuff it is not surprising that I have picked up a little house paranoia.

But after about 45 minutes of nit-picking the wife and I decided to make him an offer. This will be our fourth. I tell you, after this is all done and finished with I don't think I will ever move again. I can't handle the stress!

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

***
"A man in Virginia Beach has started protesting road conditions while dressed as Spider-Man on his days off. Something tells me he has a lot of days off." -Seth Meyers

***
"The World Cup started today. People in Los Angeles are torn. They are not sure if they should be pretending to care about soccer or hockey." -Craig Ferguson

***
"According to a new study, the number of car crashes linked to marijuana has risen. Fortunately, when the cars crashed they were all going eight miles per hour." -Conan O'Brien

***
One night young Buffy brought her boyfriend home to meet her parents, and they were appalled by his appearance; leather jacket, motorcycle boots, tattoos and pierced nose.

Later, the parents pulled their daughter aside and confessed their concern. "Buffy," said the mother diplomatically, "he doesn't seem very nice."

"Oh please, Mom," replied the blonde daughter, "if he wasn't nice, why would he be doing 500 hours of community service?"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
My boyfriend and I were lunching at a sidewalk cafe' in Huntington Beach, CA. Our waitress looked like a real surfer girl: athletic with a great tan and blonde hair. Mulling over the menu, my guy asked her if the roast beef was rare.

The waitress gave us a stare and replied, "Well, no. We have it, like, just about every day."