Thursday, April 10, 2014

Good morning crew,

I have been a bachelor this week. The wife has been pet sitting so I have been all alone again, just like in the old days.

It has its disadvantages and its advantages. It is a lot easier to keep the place clean and organized for potential walk-throughs, for one thing. For example; last night I squirted some mustard and mayonnaise in a can of tuna and ate it with a couple slices of bread for a "bachelor's tuna salad." Total dishes used: one spoon.

Then I slept on the sofa so I wouldn't have to make the bed in the morning.

Of course, the disadvantages are I ate tuna out of a can for dinner and slept on the sofa.

Laugh it up,

Joe

joe@gophercentral.com

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"The 'Noah' film is a huge hit. Paramount pictures presents one of the greatest stories of all time re-imagined as you have never seen it before. 'Noah,' starring Russell Crowe, Jennifer Connelly, Emma Watson and Matt Damon as the animals." -Dave Letterman

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"On England, a screening of the movie 'Noah' had to be canceled because of flooding. I guess we know one person who didn't like the movie." -Craig Ferguson

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"A South Carolina man had to be rescued by police after he got stuck in a ventilation shaft while trying to break into Arby's. If he's convicted, he could be sentenced to as many as 10 sandwiches from Arby's." -Seth Meyers

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It was 6 p.m., and I was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off someone's laundry on my way home. "It's for my cousin," she apologized, "who's eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore." I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered.

"Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her."

The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mom!" She shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"


*-------------- Guaranteed to Roll Your Eyes --------------*
When my husband and I showed up at a very popular restaurant, it was crowded. I went up to the hostess and asked, "Will it be long?"

The hostess, ignoring me, kept writing in her book. I asked again, "How much of a wait?"

The woman looked up and said, "About ten minutes."

A short time later, we heard an announcement over the loud-speaker: "Willette B. Long, your table is ready."