Classic Laff-a-Day - May 21, 2010
http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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Greetings Laff Lovers,
Well, the next holiday is upon us...Memorial Day is still a
holiday, isn't it? I wonder because nowadays we don't have to
remember war and its atrocities, we can just watch it online.
Anyway, I always remember this holiday because an old
girlfriend used to blow me once a year on that date, but only
if I sang "I'm a yankee doodle dandy" while she did her thing.
Those were two great years.
Patriotically,
TZ
mailto:tz@gophercentral.com
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Last night I caught an old favorite on cable, "The Great
Outdoors" with the late, great John Candy and SNL alumnus
Dan Aykroyd. In my opinion one of the best comedies either
of these two made. Just for you folks I actually sat down
and transcribed one of the funniest scenes in the movie.
This is shortly after John Candy as Uncle Chet scared the
hell out of the entire family with the bald bear story.
Uncle Roman goes upstairs to his little girls' bedroom to
tuck them in and reassure them that there is nothing to be
frightened of..
"Good Evening. How's it going? Listen girls, ah, as
your father I feel it incumbent upon me to set the
record straight on the validity of the tale that
Uncle Chet shared with us this evening. I know that
a terrifying story like that, coming from the mouth
of a recognized authority figure, can be traumatizing
for kids like yourselves. I know that because I had
a similar experience with my Uncle Roy and a story he
used to tell about a family that went into the woods
and was attacked by a band of escaped army psychiatric
patients who had been subjected to violent, hellish,
torturous behavior modification experiments. It seems
they escaped from the metal boxes the army kept them
in, found this family in the woods, fell upon them,
slaughtered them and ate them. Now, that story gave
me nightmares not to be believed. I don't want Uncle
Chet's bear story to upset you in the same way. I'm
here to say that there actually is no bear and that
all of what Uncle Chet was saying was just a yarn
spinning for our entertainment."
--Dan Aykroyd as Uncle Roman in "The Great Outdoors"
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"It's Arbor Day. Trees everywhere will use the day as an
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"Crime is down in New York City. Tomorrow criminals head
down to Washington to request a bailout." -David Letterman
Chivalry has changed from the days of Sir Walter Raleigh, but
contrary to rumor, it hasn't died out altogether: A man will
still lay his coat at the feet of a pretty girl; the difference
is that nowadays it's intended to keep her back from getting
dirty.
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here...
http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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