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Classic Laff-a-Day - May 14, 2010
http://laffaday.gophercentral.com
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Greetings Laff Lovers,

Lewis walked into my office and said, "Did you see that the
new CFO of Freddie Mac apparently killed himself?"

"Yeah," I said, "I heard. I think all those greedy bankers
should kill themselves."

"Hey," he replied, "I'm not lighting a candle for the mother-
fucker, I'm just giving you the news."

Investingly,

TZ

mailto:tz@gophercentral.com



Neck Genie Elite
No pain... No expensive surgery...

Normal Price: $19.99
DEAL PRICE: $9.99
Get two for $15.98

The Neck Genie will give your face a lift resulting in tighter
and firmer skin. It eliminates sagging skin and can reduce a
double-chin or neck folds. It does for your neckline what
exercise does for your body, making you look and feel younger.
Take years off your appearance and gently firm the underlying
muscles of the neck and tighten the skin without expensive
plastic surgery.

Use just two minutes a day and the Neck Genie will help you
tighten and tone your neck, chin and face the quick, easy,
pain-free way. Redefine your profile and reduce facial
sagging. The secret is in its new and improved version that
has a built-in a-d-j-u-s-t-a-b-l-e tension mechanism that
gently firms the underlying muscles of the neck and tighten
skin at the same time for a dramatic lift. No pain - No
expensive surgery.

Get one for $9.99 or buddy up with a friend and get two for $15.98 =

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"According to a new poll, 2 out of 3 New Yorkers would like
to have Eliot Spitzer again as their governor. Well sure ? 2
out of 3 New Yorkers are hookers." -David Letterman



"Y'all got any American razor blades in here?" the Texan asked
the London pharmacist. "All I see are these damn Wilkinsons."

"Sir," the Englishman patiently replied, "Wilkinson has been
producing the finest surgical instruments, weapons and razors
since before Waterloo."

"I don't give a damn if they passed them out on Noah's Ark if
they ain't any good," the Texan retorted.

"I can assure you they are very good sir." the peeved druggist
said. "Why just last year my wife swallowed one. It gave her a
tonsillectomy, an appendectomy, a hysterectomy, circumcised the
gardener, emasculated a neighbour, cut two of a delivery boy's
fingers off at the knuckle and I still got 10 shaves out of it."


Never buy fabric softener again.
Less money! Less time! No chemicals!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3489/c/186/a/500


"Police in North Carolina are looking for a pregnant woman
who attempted to rob a bank at gunpoint. FBI sketch artists
have just released a sonogram. Be careful everyone she is
armed and lactating." -Jimmy Fallon



Microfiber Pet Drying Mitts
Never Struggle To Dry Your Wet Pet Again...

Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $7.99
Get two for: $11.98

The Microfiber material is great for absorbing more dirt,
oil and water than other types of gloves. Absorbs up to
five times its weight. Naturally attracts and holds loose
hair and dander. Great to keep multiples on hand.

Just slip them on and pet your wet pet and dry them instantly.
Great after bath, walks in the rain... anytime!

Keep one handy in the home, car, boat, camper or anywhere
dogs will track in dirt.

FEATURES:
- Includes 2 Drying Mitts (Length 11", Width 8")
- Made of washable poly/nylon microfiber fabric.
- Absorbing up to five (5) times it's Weight in Water!
- Has sewn in finger slots to aid in gripping & massaging.
- One size fits all.
- Machine Wash; Tumble Dry

Grab a pair of Pet Drying Mitts for $7.99 or save an additional
$4.00 and get two pairs for $11.98.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/2443/c/120/a/500



When I asked her to the prom, she just looked at me, giggled
and smiled.

When I asked her to dance, she just looked at me, giggled and
smiled.

When I asked her to move in with me, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

When I asked her to kiss me, she just looked at me, giggled
and smiled.

When I asked her to make love to me, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

When I asked for her hand in marriage, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

When I asked her to bear my children, she just looked at me,
giggled and smiled.

That's when I realized, she was a retard.


P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Classic Laffaday forum. Check it out here...

http://laffaday.gophercentral.com


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