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Bizarre News - September 5, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:


The first time a baby's born in the ocean, Chief, the sharks come cruisin'.

Have you ever heard of a water birth? It's an interesting idea. Since the baby has spent 9 months in 98 degree fluid, it is supposed to be less traumatic for the baby to be born while the mother is submerged in a pool of nearly 98 degree water.

Fair enough. But what if we take this idea to the extreme? Sure, we all came from the womb, but if you go back far enough we all ultimately came from the ocean. So why not give birth IN the ocean? And what better witness to this miracle of life than the ocean dweller who seems to most closely share our inquisitiveness and intelligence; the dolphin?

That's right; a pregnant woman is planning on having a "dolphin-assisted" water birth in the ocean, despite experts warning of the possible dangers.

Now, when I first read this story I immediately tried to find an independent source to confirm it, and according to a couple different sites it seems to be real, but it still seems a little far-fetched to me.

The couple, spiritual healer Dorina Rosin and her partner Maika Suneagle, have apparently been swimming alongside dolphins in Hawaii for weeks in order to familiarize themselves to the dolphins.

"In 2011 and 2014 I had the privilege to learn from and with wild and free dolphins and Humpback whales in Hawaii who transformed and healed me in a very profound way," Rosin wrote on her blog.

On the other hand, dolphins are wild animals which have been known to toss, beat, and kill other mammals.

Plus, childbirth is a very messy and often bloody affair, and when you dump a lot of blood and bodily fluids in the water it is called chumming. Not the safest thing when sharks are frequently about.

Dorina hopes that giving birth underwater in the company of dolphins might give her baby the ability to 'speak' dolphin. That is if she and the baby aren't eaten.

Who knows? It might be worth the risk to give birth to Aquaman.

Bizarrely,
Lewis


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*-- Man arrested for bringing chainsaw to courthouse --*

ST. JOHN'S, Newfoundland - Authorities in Newfoundland and Labrador said a man was arrested for allegedly showing up at the door of a family courthouse with a revving chainsaw. The Royal Newfoundland Constabulary said sheriff's officers inside the Unified Family Courthouse in St. John's saw Jason Collins, 43, approach the door of the building with a running chainsaw about 9:30 a.m. Wednesday and put the building into lockdown. RNC officers arrived and took Collins into custody. Investigators said Collins had been served with documentation Tuesday pertaining to an upcoming court date. Collins was arrested on charges of possession of a dangerous weapon and assaulting an officer. He was sent for an overnight psychiatric assessment. Court cases scheduled for Wednesday are being rescheduled, Department of Justice officials said.


* Man rescues slab of ribs during apartment fire *

FRESNO, Calif. - A California man who ushered his wife and kids out of their home during an apartment complex fire said his first thought was to save his barbecue ribs. Robert Wright, ribs in hand, gave an interview to KMPH-TV after the fire at his Fresno apartment complex and told the reporter he was barbecuing at 3 a.m. when the fire erupted at the apartment next door. "The only thing I think first is make sure them ribs is right and I ran over and got my family man," Wright said. He said he carried his kids out of the apartment and was able to rescue his ribs. Wright explained why he was barbecuing so late at night. "It was three o'clock in the morning, I was hungry man, I was like put them ribs on there," he said. A woman and a child escaped from the fire next door to Wright and were treated for smoke inhalation. Wright said he didn't require any medical attention. "I didn't get any injuries except for all the smoke in my lungs, but I already had smoke in my lungs so I'm alright," he said.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*

I wasn't able to find the pic of the guy who was taking a selfie when he crashed. That would be an awesome photo. If you can find it please forward it to me or post it somewhere. Thanks!
[That's a bit morbid, isn't it? But I agree, that would be an awesome photo. Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), I don't think the photo was taken at the exact moment of impact. But you can just imagine their faces if it were, can't you?]

There is an article on a man having a turd surgically removed that was pushing on his heart. divorces should be this simple.
[I think that was a South Park episode.]

I don't want to be that guy but the guy that caused the selfie accident, you got want you deserved. Hopefully, that picture will smarten you up the next time you think it's a good idea to snap a pic while behind the wheel. And shame on your friends for not stopping you either! What is this world coming to?

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*

***

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Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS