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Saturday, May 7, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Police in Washington state said a need for speed wasn't the only monkey on a fleeing suspect's back -- he also literally had a monkey on his back.

The Burien Police Department said the suspect was clocked driving 112 mph by a Washington State Trooper and the motorist lost control of the vehicle when he took an exit.

The driver crashed his vehicle into a large rock in a resident's yard and allegedly started to flee the scene on foot before returning to the car for his pet monkey.

Police said the man and his "partner-in-crime" were found near the scene and both were taken into custody.

Police shared a photo of the man in the back of a police cruiser with the monkey clinging to his back.

"Once we determined the monkey was not the driver, we released him to a family member since he was only engaged in monkey business," Burien police said.

The man was charged with leaving the scene of an accident.


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*-- Come, Mister Tally Man, Tally Me banana --*

Chinese live-streaming video websites announced female broadcasters are being banned from "seductively eating bananas" as part of a crackdown on pornography. Regulations handed down as part of a Ministry of Culture investigation into "inappropriate and erotic" online content requires popular streaming sites to monitor all of the live streams they host for banned content including pornography and violence. The content the sites are seeking to block from broadcasts include female live-steamers "seductively eating bananas." Female live-streamers are also being banned from wearing stockings and suspenders while appearing on camera. Social media users in China have questioned at what point footage of a woman eating a banana becomes provocative, while others wondered whether the same rules would be applied to men who eat bananas while live-streaming.


*-- It Never Rains In Las Vegas, But It Pours --*

Visitors to a Las Vegas attraction said they were unexpectedly drenched by falling liquid that turned out to be urine from a teenager on a zip line over their heads. Tourists visiting the popular Fremont Street Experience attraction said they initially thought the drops of liquid that fell onto their heads was water or beer, but they soon discovered it was something far more disgusting: a 15-year-old boy's urine. Officials with the attraction said the teenager urinated while riding the Slot-Zilla, a slot machine-themed zip line that stretches over the Fremont Street Experience. "Like a lot of liquid coming from above us, just showering from head to toe our back and top of the head dripping down, and we thought it was some sort of water, maybe some drinks or beer," Cazimere Ferguson, who was visiting Las Vegas from Hawaii said. The Fremont Street Experience's marketing director said the teen's parents apologized for the incident. It was unclear whether the mid-ride urination was involuntary or an intentional prank.


*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

If a woman is having noisy sex until 2 in the morning it has got to be with several different men (or maybe some power equipment), because even with modern chemistry no one man is going to last four or five hours.
[So, is that a criticism? Or are you suddenly feeling a little inadequate?]

That Canadian firefighter reminds me of the stories about the cops who shoot up their own cars so that they can claim they were attacked. Although I'm not sure it is for the same reasons.

The story about the firefighter that was actually starting fires was crazy. Is that the same thing as a Podiatrist having a foot fetish. --Melvin

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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