Bizarre News - February 12, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Littering in California? That's a thousand dollar fine and a dick Tasering. Keep The Golden State clean!

The whole incident started when a 58-year-old man dropped a cigarette butt on the sidewalk outside of his home. A Los Angeles County Sheriff's deputy apparently saw the crime and decided to write him a ticket. A $1,000 ticket.

The man's son, 26-year-old Daniel Johnson who was inside the home cooking, was alerted by a neighbor that his father was being ticketed outside.

When he went outside to find out what was going on and discovered that his father had just been given a $1,000 ticket he told the officer, Deputy Abdulfattah, that the family didn't have a thousand bucks and offered to pick the cigarette up from the ground.

Johnson alleges that Abdulfattah responded, "I can write you a ticket too if you want."

Supposedly Johnson began to walk away when he claims another deputy grabbed him from behind and slammed him to the ground. The next part is undisputed. While he was on the ground Abdulfattah used a Taser on Johnson's genitals multiple times.

"He was definitely point blank," Johnson said. "He was right above me as he Tased me, so there's no mistake that he was trying to Tase me in my genitalia."

Johnson said he could "smell his flesh burning from the tases" and was screaming in pain.

Johnson filed a federal civil rights lawsuit against the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*---- Minnesota boy, 14, takes school bus for joy ride -----*
ROSEVILLE, Minn. - A 14-year-old Minnesota boy went on a joyride in a school bus Monday with the episode ending with the bus clipping a gas pump at a service station, police said. No one was hurt during the teen's 3 1/2-mile adventure that began in St. Paul and ended in the neighboring suburb of Roseville, the (Minneapolis) Star Tribune reported. The boy was being held while charges were sorted out. Roseville police said the incident began when the Centerline Charter Corp. bus driver pulled up to a service station and left the keys in the ignition while she went inside to get a cup of coffee. When she came out, the bus was gone. The driver phoned her boss, police were contacted and the bus was tracked through its global positioning system device. The Star Tribune said the boy, apparently listening to the vehicle's radio, heard police were after him and took off in the vehicle, running a stoplight and stop sign, and dodging traffic along the way. The bus company's operations manager, who also had given chase, caught up to the bus and yelled at the teen driver to stop. The boy pulled into a service station but bumped into the gas pumps before coming to a halt, police said. Police said the boy told officers he thought the bus had been abandoned and he only wanted to return it to the charter company.


*---- Police: Woman shot into McDonald's due to missing bacon -----*
GRAND RAPIDS, Mich. - Police in Michigan said a woman accused of firing a gun into a McDonald's because her sandwich lacked bacon left her phone number with an employee. Authorities said Shaneka Monique Torres, 29, was a passenger in a car going through a McDonald's drive-through in Grand Rapids early Monday. She left her phone number with an employee at the first drive-through window after flirting with him, WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids, reported Tuesday. However, Torres apparently became angry at the second window when she and the other woman found their order was wrong, police said. The police report said Torres, whose sandwich lacked the bacon she ordered, then fired a gun through the closed window of the car and the round went into the drive-through window and crossed through the building without hitting anyone. Police said employees did not realize there had been a shooting at first and thought a coffee pot had exploded. Torres was tracked down at her home using the phone number she left for the worker, police said. She was arraigned Monday in Grand Rapids District Court on charges of carrying a concealed weapon, discharge of a firearm in or at a building and felony firearms. She was jailed in lieu of $50,000 bond.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, farting in the direction of a flame will have a blowtorch effect. if a cow (such as Mrs. O'Leary's) would've farted into any flame such as that of a lantern, it could've had most disastrous results! -R.S.

Static electricity from hand-milking Mrs. O'Leary's cow would not have ignited the methane but the lamp that the cow supposedly kicked over might have. -Andrew

Static electricity wasn't a factor for the Chicago cow. But there was an open flame with the lantern.
[Since that story of Mrs. O'Leary's cow is almost certainly apocryphal I don't think it matters either way, and I wish everybody would stop writing me about cow farts. Thank you.]

Seriously Lewis, what is the THING with sports? People plan for weeks to see it on tv or even live.. who cares? What is the big deal? It's a GAME. The fact that someone would bite of his brothers ear over sports tells me we need to get rid of sports altogether. -Patty

I have no experience with any of this but I'd imagine the cost of a small amount of heroin would be nominal-maybe $20 or so, but I bet a small heroine would easily run a couple hundred dollars an hour.
[You mean a female midget with an aptitude for rescuing people?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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