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Wednesday, May 25, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

They may not be the most practical, but Chileans definitely have a flair for the dramatic. This was demonstrated by one Chilean man who tried to commit suicide by lion.

How do you do that? Well, first you have to find some lions. Any reasonable sized zoo will do.

This particular man, Franco Luis Ferrada Roman, decided he had better be naked for this adventure, too.

"We believe that this person entered as a visitor and paid for his ticket," zoo director Alejandra Montalva said.

"Later he trespassed into an area where the public are not normally allowed and we understand that he forced the roof of the lion's enclosure," she said.

"It was from there that he jumped, took off his clothes and started to attract the lions."

Once inside the lions began "playing" with him. Whether they were trying to kill him or not, they ended up mauling him badly.

As there were no quick acting tranquilizers available at the time of the incident, zoo officials intervened and shot the lions dead in order to save the man's life.

Roman suvived but is in grave condition.

Montalva told local media that she was "deeply affected" by the deaths of the two adult lions, one male and one female.

Many on social media agreed with her, and expressed outrage that the lions were killed because of the selfish act of one man.


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*- Escaped Inmate returns With SUV For Friends -*

There is minimum-security, and then there is why bother? Alaska State Troopers said a man who escaped from a minimum-security facility returned three hours later with an SUV to pick up some of his fellow inmates. Troopers said in a dispatch that Joshua Yaska, 20, was seen riding a bicycle away from Fairbanks' North Star Center correctional facility about 1:05 a.m. Investigators said Yaska returned about 4:20 a.m. with an Isuzu SUV, which he used to transport an undisclosed number of his fellow inmates away from the facility. The halfway house holds up to 143 minimum-security inmates and staff are instructed not to physically restrain the inmates from leaving the building. Yaska was being housed at the North Star Center while awaiting trail for charges of misdemeanor theft and making a false report. Yaska remained on the loose as of Monday.


*------------ You're Doing It Wrong ------------*

A mother was arrested after her child fell unconscious when she sat on his head for one hour. In any other circumstance this would be nothing more than a kinky fetish story, but police in Georgia said the victim was the woman's own 2-year-old. 36-year-old Susan Elizabeth Kelley is accused of placing a towel on the seat of a wooden dining room chair before she put the child's head on it. She then proceeded to sit on the child's head with her full body weight for about one hour. She allegedly told authorities that she did so to get the child to be submissive. Again; she's been watching too much fetish porn in the Internets. When the boy became unconscious, he was taken to a hospital. Doctors called police after seeing the boy with redness on the head, chest and back. He is expected to make a full recovery.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

LEWIS; Golly gee, in this day and age of environmentalists encouraging everyone to "go green" shouldn't that TV reporter who was accused of pulling down his pants and defecating on a lawn have been praised for fertilizing a stranger's lawn? It seems he did the environmentally and politically correct thing. -R.S.

Lewis, He's not supposed to be sitting inside the vehicle or using a cell phone while pumping gas, says so on the pump. And I as well cannot stand when people leave their car at the pump when done pumping gas and go into the store, that is why there are parking spots next to the store. Just get you gas and move along so others can get gas! -Gary

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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