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Saturday, March 5, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A man was arrested on a charge of battery after allegedly waterboarding his girlfriend because she spoke with another man on Facebook, police in Wisconsin said.

Merrill police said that they have arrested 22-year-old Dylan VanCamp, after being accused of torturing his girlfriend numerous times over a period of several months.

VanCamp was charged with suffocation, battery, and stalking. If convicted, VanCamp faces up to 10 years in prison and a $25,000 fine.

According to the police investigation, a month into their relationship, VanCamp began torturing his girlfriend after he caught her speaking with another man on Facebook.

The woman told police that she was unable to breathe and felt as if she was drowning. The jealous boyfriend then dragged his girlfriend to the bedroom, punched her in the head and pulled a knife on her.

It is not reported whether she will wait for him while he serves his prison sentence.


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*------------- Space Makes you Grow -------------*

If you think the weight of the world is bringing you down, you're right. Astronaut Scott Kelly recently arrived in Houston after a year in space. One of the more unusual side effects of his record-breaking mission is that the 25-year-old astronaut actually grew. Kelly has a twin brother and before the space mission the two were the exact same height -- but not anymore. Kelly grew 2 inches during his time aboard the International Space Station. NASA spokesman Jeff Williams said, "Astronauts get taller in space as the spine elongates, but they return to preflight height after a short time back on Earth."


Man Convicted of Stabbing Neighbor Over Birds

CAMDEN, N.J. - A southern New Jersey man has been found guilty of stabbing his downstairs neighbor to death in a dispute over pet birds. Camden County prosecutors say 65-year-old David Giordano was convicted of aggravated manslaughter in the slaying of 52-year-old Michael Taylor. The Voorhees Township man had been Taylor's upstairs neighbor. Prosecutors say Giordano poured water on Taylor's pet birds because they were chirping too loudly. The birds had been kept on Taylor's porch. Giordano then repeatedly stabbed Taylor with a knife when Taylor confronted him. Taylor died from his injuries at a hospital nearly three weeks later. Giordano faces 15 to 30 years in state prison.


*---------- READER COMMENTS ----------*

No. It still really isn't making any sense to do that with a Zucchini. Am I going to be reading about you in a Darwin award soon? -John
[Me? No. My wife, on the other hand, loves zucchinis, but only breaded and deep fried.]

That story about the woman having her shoes confiscated by the TSA reminds me of the little kid who had his Buzz Lightyear ray gun taken by the TSA. Can somebody explain to me the logic behind all this replica and imagery bullshit?
[If you figure it out let me know!]

Only a Canadian would mistake the sound of popping balloons for gunfire. But lucky for the school it was Canadian police. American police would have gone in shooting and probably taken out a half dozen kids before they figured out it was a mistake.

*------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------*

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