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You'll be disgusted! Disgusted at what you might pull out
of your drains with the easy-to-use EZ Zip Drain Cleaner.
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Saturday, February 12, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Here's a fun idea if you have no plans for Valentine's Day;
you could try to sneak some fresh produce into the United
States from Canada.

Recently an Ontario woman, crossing the Ambassador Bridge
from Windsor, Canada to Detroit, Michigan had raspberries
in her vehicle which she failed to declare.

When the U.S. Customs and Border Protection agents discovered
the raspberries they subjected her to a much more intimate
search. Intimate in that they detained her for two hours,
sent her to a windowless cell and ordered her to strip.

Loretta Van Beek claims one agent aggressively groped her
breasts and genital area while the other watched. She says
she was then photographed and fingerprinted and sent back
to Canada.

Hopefully they let her put her clothes back on before they
photographed her.

Predictably, Van Beek has filed suit against the unnamed
agents.

My question is; if she had declared the fruit, would the
agents have allowed her through with them? Or if they con-
fiscated them, would they have allowed her into the U.S.
without them? I understand the restrictions on transporting
things like fresh produce which can spread bugs and diseases,
but what I don't understand is where the genital groping
comes in.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+--------- Even More Bizarre February Holidays ----------+

February 21 is Card Reading Day

February 22 is Be Humble Day

February 23 is International Dog Biscuit Appreciation Day

February 24 is National Tortilla Chip Day

February 25 is Pistol Patent Day (Samuel Colt)

February 26 is National Pistachio Day

February 27 is International Polar Bear Day

February 28 is Public Sleeping Day

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--------------- Bird in bakery draws fire ---------------

RIVER FALLS, Wis. - Police in Wisconsin said a manager at
a cookie factory is facing charges after a shot he took
at birds in the rafters missed and hit an employee. River
Falls police said the 29-year-old manager at the Best Maid
factory was firing birdshot at the birds in the rafters of
the factory Dec. 14 and a poorly aimed shot struck a 28-
year-old employee in the back of the head, the River Falls
Journal reported Thursday. Investigators said the victim
felt a sensation like a bee sting and removed a small piece
of lead from above his ear. The manager is believed not to
have realized the shot struck the employee. The manager,
whose name was not released, is now facing a charge of
injury by negligent handling of a dangerous weapon, police
said.

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-------- Name a cockroach for your Valentine --------

NEW YORK - New York's Bronx Zoo said it is offering
Valentine's gift-givers the opportunity to name Madagascar
hissing cockroaches after their sweeties. The zoo said
people can pay $10 to have their Valentine's name given
to a roach in the Madagascar! Exhibit with an accompany-
ing e-card informing the recipient of the naming gift, the
New York Daily News reported Thursday. "Nothing says for-
ever like a cockroach," zoo director Jim Breheny said.
"They are resourceful, resilient and have been around for
hundreds of millions of years." The Bronx Zoo's Valentine's
festivities also include an online "Courtship Quiz,"
available at www.bronxzoo.com, for humans to compare their
courtship styles to those found in the animal kingdom.

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, When Gay men say "yes", they mean "yes" and when they
say "no" they mean "no". A straight man never knows what
their women mean when they say "yes" or "no", thus your
quandary. It appears that TZ is the authority on gay men at
gophercentral, you can verify this with him. -Jim
[That's because gay men, despite being gay, are still men.]


I found one fact about the gulf oil spill very interesting.
When the Exxon Valdez sunk in Alaska it spilled 260,000 to
750,000 barrels. In the gulf oil spill it was 200 million
gallons of oil. Why are the reports of wildlife damage so
much lower in the gulf? Or were we just scammed by the en-
vironmentalists on the Exxon Valdez? Who was going to check
in Alaska anyways? -John
[Not sure, but I'll tell you this much; we will be discovering
the impact of the Gulf oil spill for years, probably decades
to come. It's not over by a long shot.]


Uh, Lewis, speaking as a female, you might want to add a
small amount of Dark Chocolate (it's healthy taken in small
amounts, they say and may be an aphrodisiac) as well as one
red rose. That, I think, would make it classic. Not to
mention cover a few other bases for you. Good luck. -Betty
[We usually go out for dinner either on the day before or
after Valentine's Day. We gave up going out on the actual
day years ago. It's always a mad house wherever you go!]


Uh, Lewis, speaking as a female, you might want to add a
small amount of Dark Chocolate (it's healthy taken in small
amounts, they say and may be an aphrodisiac) as well as one
red rose. That, I think, would make it classic. Not to
mention cover a few other bases for you. Good luck.

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

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