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Saturday, April 3, 2010

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Well, folks, tomorrow is Easter, or as some Christians like
to refer to it; Resurrection Sunday. This is the holiday
that defines Christianity. If Christ had never risen from
the dead he would have just been another reformationist.
Everyone in the world knows the story, even without Mel
Gibson's help. Jesus was betrayed, judged by Pilate,
turned over to his own people who condemned him, then he
was tortured and crucified.

Some people take this story a lot more seriously than
others. In the Philippines, for example, Good Friday is
celebrated with a reenactment of the crucifixion, right
down to the flogging and the nails.

Dozens of people were crucified in villages across the
Roman Catholic country, in one of the world's most bizarre
practices. The event drew more than 10,000 Filipino and
foreign spectators.

And this is done every year, often by the same people!
You'd think it would be difficult to find volunteers to
get nailed to a cross, but apparently people are lining
up. Ruben Enaje, a 49-year-old sign painter, was nailed to
a cross for the 24th time this year as his way of thanking
God for his survival after falling from a building.

And so you don't think the Philippines is some backward
kind of country, they even have a female 'Jesus'. This
year was her 14th crucifixion.

The Church rejects such practices, of course, but you know
how hard it is to keep people from having a good time.

Bizarrely,

Lewis

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+------------- More Bizarre April Holidays --------------+

April 11 is Eight-Track Tape Day

April 12 is Look Up At The Sky Day

April 13 is Blame Somebody Else Day

April 14 is National Pecan Day

April 15 is Rubber Eraser Day

April 16 is National Stress Awareness Day and National
Eggs Benedict Day

April 17 is National Cheeseball Day

April 18 is International Jugglers Day

April 19 is Garlic Day

April 20 is Look Alike Day

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--------- Judge chastised for confiscating phone ---------

ORLANDO, Fla. - A Florida juvenile court judge went too
far when he found a woman in contempt because her cell-
phone rang in the courtroom, an appeals court ruled. The
appeals panel in Daytona said Michelle McRoy's ringing
phone was "annoying" but that does not justify a finding
of contempt, The Orlando (Fla.) Sentinel reported. The
court said Circuit Judge Anthony Johnson provided no
evidence for his contempt finding and a order that McRoy's
phone should be confiscated. "Contempt is an act tending
to embarrass, hinder, or obstruct the court in the adminis-
tration of justice, or to lessen the court's authority or
dignity," the appeals court wrote in an opinion released
Wednesday. "Contempt does not exist just because a judge
feels aggrieved or vexed." McRoy said she allowed her
sister to use the phone outside the courtroom and forgot
to check when she returned it whether it was turned off.
She was in the Orange County courtroom last year because
a juvenile relative was appearing in court. She told the
newspaper the judge "just went off" without giving her a
chance to explain what happened. She said she hopes to
get the phone back.

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------- Police: Thief tried deposit box fishing -------

ORANGEBURG, S.C. - Police in South Carolina said a would-
be thief attempted to use fishing line and hooks to angle
for bank deposit bags in a bank's night drop slot. Capt.
Ed Conner of the Orangeburg Department of Public Safety
said First Citizen's Bank employees retrieved the bags
March 26 morning and discovered a hook embedded in one
of the bags with fishing line dangling from the hook,
The (Orangeburg, S.C.) Times and Democrat reported. The
employees found two other hooks and putty, believed to
have been used as a weight, in the deposit box. Police
said bank security footage shows someone outside the
facility at about 4:30 a.m. "It's under investigation,"
Conner said. "We'll be looking at the evidence to see if
we can put a face with the image on video." He said the
would-be thief picked the wrong method for the crime. "The
security mechanisms at the bank's night deposit drop...
it's impossible for someone to retrieve a bag," Conner
told The Times and Democrat. "In other words, you can't
go fishing for a night deposit bag."

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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Hey Lewis! Isn't April 15 tell A lie day! At least around
my place it always has been. Good luck! -H.R.
[I know it's "tell a lie to the IRS day".]


Actually, circumscision was god's idea, and something he
commanded the Jews to do (he was right about pork back then,
too). It's healthier, saves time in cleaning, and makes sex
last longer. But hey, if you know better than god, don't do
it.
[Apparently the foreskin was a design error that God wanted
to fix in post-production.]


Exactly how are the Spaggiari imitators imitating art? It
seems they are imitating life, unless a movie or book was
written about it that you didn't mention. -Elisabeth
[Are you kidding? There are scores of movies about
spectacular robberies. When I read this story my first
impression was of "The Italian Job" from 2003.]


For those people already covered by insurance where they
work, nothing changes. That includes the majority of our
citizens. How does that federalize healthcare? As for
the 13 trillion dollars in debt, the majority of that was
spent on a war which none of these concerned citizens
questioned. Now all of a sudden these same spendthrifts
are worried about the debt? Get real! -Mike Jones
[You don't know nothing will change. Some talking heads are
saying that private insurance rates will go up dramatically
in order to pay for all of the compliance the new bill will
require. Meanwhile, Obama says the new bill will save so
many billions of dollars over the next decade while opposing
senators say it will cost billions. Like I wrote in the last
issue...this bill is so huge and complicated the only way
to know is to wait and see what the consequences are as it
slowly gets implemented.]


If that anonymous writer believes in God and doesn't think
it should be done, then he or she should read Genesis and
see that God commanded circumcision in the first place.
Also the late Ann Landers once quoted a medical journal
report that said of 50,000 cases of penile cancer, only one
was on a circumcised person. Can't vouch for the accuracy,
but I remember it well. -Tom.

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
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