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Saturday, July 12, 2017

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The New Orleans Police Department said that they are seeking to locate and identify a suspect believed to be responsible for an armed robbery where she removed her bra and left it at the scene of the crime. Perhaps as a decoy.

According to the police investigation, at about 2:00 a.m., the woman entered the northeast door of the Bud's Broiler restaurant. The armed robber was carrying what was determined to be a black toy handgun with an orange tip, removable magazine and mounted tactical light.

The robber then allegedly forced an employee into the storage refrigerator and utilized a set of keys to unlock a locker containing a money deposit bag. She then entered another office room and removed additional money bags, also containing cash.

The subject then fled west on N. Anthony Street, discarding the keys and toy gun along with a bra and blue baseball cap. The suspect was described as approximately 5 feet and 3 inches tall. She was wearing a white t-shirt and tan long pants.

And no bra.


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Just When You Think Council Meetings Are Boring

A Nevada city council meeting was interrupted when a woman's purse abruptly burst into flames in a moment caught on camera. Video from the Boulder City Council meeting shows a small explosion take place in the woman's purse as she sits behind the man addressing the council. Boulder City Fire Chief Kevin Nicholson, who regularly attends council meetings, rushed to the woman's aid as the flames spread to her shirt. "There was a battery malfunction in her purse that ignited her purse," Nicholson said. The woman, who sustained only minor burns and did not need to be hospitalized, said the exploded battery was the type meant to be used in an electronic cigarette or vape pen. "Well, that was exciting," Mayor Rod Woodbury quipped as the meeting resumed.


*----- Another Reason Not To Go To Walmart -----*

Women in Michigan, are angry after learning that a man has been pleasuring himself on women standing in line at Walmart stores. The Washtenaw County Sheriff's Office said that they are looking to arrest the man, who was not identified, after being accused of pleasuring himself and leaving DNA on women who were waiting in line at Walmart stores. According to the police investigation, the first assault occurred at the Walmart store located in Ann Arbor. The suspect moved behind the victim and pleasured himself. He bumped into the victim several times before leaving his DNA on the woman's clothes. He then fled from the scene before police arrived. The second incident unfolded at a Walmart store on Ellsworth Road. The woman was waiting on the MoneyGram line when she noticed the suspect standing behind her. He pleasured himself and left his DNA on her dress. The suspect fled from the scene before police arrived.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Lewis, have you been drinking on the job again? Your story headline said, 'Rapping Said Getting Shot Not a Biggie Deal'. Wasn't it supposed to be 'RAPPER' instead of Rapping?
[Ah, that was a test. You passed. Congratulations.]

This article didn't mention that the reason the taxes weren't paid was that the city was sending the tax bill to the wrong address "associated with an accountant who last performed work for the Association in the 1980s". -John
[So what? If my tax payment checks weren't cashed for 30 years I would start to get a little curious. Why didn't they?]

So this wrapper from Georgia claims he's bullet-proof, and a couple days later he gets shot to death? Maybe I should go on YouTube and claim I'm pussy-proof.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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