Wednesday, July 10, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Ocean's Eleven they're not, but this diabolical duo came up with a plan just as clever. It seems a Tennessee homeowner was distracted by a naked woman swimming in is backyard pool.

The 54-year-old man told police that a man and woman who lived nearly approached his home to talk to him. During the conversation the man excused himself to go back home and retrieve cigarettes.

Alone with the victim, the woman asked him about his pool, and if she could take a swim. He told the woman it would be OK and led her to the rear of his house where the pool is located.

The woman then asked if it would bother him if she swam in the nude, and he replied that it would not. She proceeded to take off her clothes and jumped into the pool, swimming for about 20 minutes. The home owner retrieved a towel from inside his home, the woman dried off, dressed and left.

It was at that point he re-entered his home to discover that he had been robbed of a handgun, jewelry and medication. The loss was placed at $1,195.

While the two suspects have been identified, they have not been found by police for questioning.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Man catches 2,011 fish in 24 hours, not enough to beat world record --*
LAGRANGE, Ill. - A LaGrange, Ill., fisherman missed the world record for fish-catching in a 24-hour period, catching only 2,011, but says he'll be back for another try. Johnny Wilkins, 46, proprietor of a fishing school, spent Friday and Saturday at a local pond, attempting to beat the mark of 2,649 fish caught by a Minnesota man in 2011. Wilkins caught and released bass, bluegills, carp and shiners, but came up 638 shy of the record, certified by Guinness World Records, the Chicago Tribune reported Tuesday. Perched on a rock ledge with a rod and a tiny, Japanese-made hook, and working to catch, on average, 1.8 fish per minute, Wilkins said he "kind of fished harder. I really had to work for every single fish." He added he intends to turn the fishing marathon into an annual event.


*-- Police: Alleged burglar fell asleep on victim's couch --*
LADY LAKE, Fla. - Florida authorities said they arrested a burglary suspect found sleeping on the victim's couch with stolen jewelry in his pocket. Lady Lake police said a homeowner walked into the Lady Lake home's living room Sunday to find Domonique Pinkard, 21, sleeping on the couch, the Orlando Sentinel reported Tuesday. "I've never broken into a home... But I don't think I would be able to fall asleep," police Chief Chris McKinstry said. "He [Pinkard] feels pretty comfortable in others' surroundings." Investigators said Pinkard and Julian Evangelist, 20, forced a back door to the home open around 7:30 a.m. and Pinkard fell asleep on the couch while Evangelist was absconding with a TV. "Evangelist apparently chose not to wake Pinkard, but left with the victim's TV instead. Pinkard awoke to police arresting him," McKinstry said. McKinstry said Pinkard had some of the homeowner's jewelry in his pockets and he led them to Evangelist, who was found to be in possession of the remaining stolen property at his nearby home. The men were charged with burglary and larceny grand theft. They were taken to the Lake County Jail.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
There are times when I wish your newsletter had pictures. The guy wearing an upside down hoodie to support his 140 lb balls was a sight to behold. Love your stuff - been a subscriber for at least 10 years. -Lois

All I know is that if kissing a guy while a little tipsy is a felony, I'll probably be sentenced to life. -Chris
[If you kiss random guys while tipsy, what do you do when you're drunk???]

Hey Lewis! I bet we all remember at least 1 old lady teachers from our school days who owned 1 dress that they wore every day. I even remember 1 who was given a corsage on teacher appreciation day which she wore on her 1 dress for several days even as it wilted and turned brown.
[Anybody who has spent any time around kids knows that it is a waste of time trying to dress to impress them.]

That cop thinks he's got problems because he got a kiss on the nose. There's a guy in Waco, TX who's been arrested recently for biting a cop's nose. Which one would you prefer! -Tom
[Depends on how sexy the woman was, I suppose.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS