Saturday, September 10, 2011

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

This one is almost as good as the "he fell backwards onto some bullets" defense.

A dancer at an Arizona strip club was arrested on suspicion of aggravated assault after police say she stabbed her boyfriend in the back with a kitchen knife - then claimed her boyfriend stabbed himself.

Police received a call from the victim stating that his girlfriend, Ruby Elaine, 37, stabbed him twice in his lower back. He was transported to a hospital for treatment. Police said they found evidence of a struggle and a bloody knife on the living room floor.

She acknowledged arguing with the victim, but told police her boyfriend stabbed himself, declining to explain why or how he might manage to get a kitchen knife into his own back.

According to police, the woman, who works as a dancer at a gentlemen's club, has a prior arrest for domestic violence and disorderly conduct. Hard to imagine in such a mild mannered person.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Pet insurer giving award for oddest claim --*
BREA, Calif. - A California pet health insurance company said finalists for the strangest claim of the year award include a dog that swallowed 100 rocks. Veterinary Pet Insurance Co. of Brea said finalists for the VPI Hambone Award, given each year for the most unusual pet health-insurance claim, include Harley, a pug that ate 100 rocks while boarding at a veterinarian's office, and Chico, a Chihuahua that sustained injuries when it was lifted off the ground by a great horned owl. Other finalists include a cat named Eddy that landed on a hot wood stove while chasing a fly and a toy poodle named Howie that needed more than 15 visits to the veterinarian to remove an acorn from its windpipe. VPI said all of the animals made full recoveries and visitors to VPIHamboneAward.com can vote on the finalists through Sept. 20. The company, which insures more than 485,000 pets in the United States, said the award was named after Hambone, a dog that ate an entire Thanksgiving ham while trapped in a refrigerator.

*-- Man caught stuffing lobsters in pockets --*
D'IBERVILLE, Miss. - A Mississippi man was being held for allegedly attempting to steal live lobsters by stuffing them into the pockets of his shorts, police said. Police offers responded Tuesday to a call from employees at the D'Iberville Winn Dixie, who said 35-year-old Nathan Hardy attempted to leave the store without paying for items hidden on his person, WLOX-TV, Biloxi, Miss., reported. The D'Iberville Police Department said Hardy put two live lobsters in the front pockets of his shorts and stuffed bags of shrimp and a pork loin inside his waist band. He allegedly attempted to flee officers when they arrived on scene, but tripped and fell. Hardy was arrested and taken to the Harrison County Adult Detention Center.

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*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis...women have the right to say 'No' but men are fined for it. -Don
[At least she got the satisfaction of f***ing him in court.]

How did you arrive at $300 a bop for most married couples? That only figures to about 46 matrimonial couplings over a 21 year marriage which is only a little over two bops a year!
[Welcome to married life.]

Have you checked your math? That would imply the "average married couple" only gets together 2-3 times a year? -John
[I didn't realize I have so many single people on the list.]

Lewis, While Indiana has it's share of Fruit Loops, this sword wielding nut was from Cicero, IL. Please keep the Frosted Flakes on your side of the stateline, so we don't have Total chaos here. Let them get their Kix in Illinois. -Fred
[Right. But most of our "flakes" are in politics.]

Once again I feel compelled to made a comment on the sperm donor supplying to much sperm? He just left his donation weather it was used or not where is the problem? -Charlie
[It's the anonymity. What if you found out your wife is really your half sister? Would you really have the stomach to have sex with her every six months?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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