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Saturday, October 17, 2009
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
We have all heard of tin foil hats, those worn by the UFO
and CIA mind-control conspiracy theorists. This woman in
Allentown, Pennsylvania, however, has taken the idea to a
new extreme.
To be fair, Elizabeth Feudale-Bowes does not thing that her
subconscious mind is being subtly influenced by carefully
tuned electro-magnetic radiation, she does, however, think
that her mind and body are being poisoned by the toxins of
modern life and technology. And her solution? To lock her-
self in a galvanized steel and porcelain shed outside her
house.
Feudale-Bowes, 52, says she was diagnosed several years ago
with "environmental illness," described as extreme sensitiv-
ity to everyday substances. Some doctors question whether
environmental illness is a genuine physical disorder and
suggest it is psychological.
Feudale-Bowes says fabric softener, nail polish, perfume,
new sneakers, upholstery and many other items can make her
body go haywire. She says she has suffered from a range of
chronic ailments, including migraines, joint pain, bladder
inflammation, seizures and temporary paralysis. Her insides,
she says, have sometimes felt like "fire with ground glass
in it."
The box, which she locks herself into for up to ten hours
a day, protects her from these environmental hazards, she
says.
The city, on the other hand, says it violates zoning rules.
After complains by neighbors in this suburb of Allentown, a
local judge has ordered the structure be removed.
I guess Elizabeth will now have to do what the rest of us do.
Drink.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
http://bizarrenews.gophercentral.com
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+-------------------- Bizarre Laws --------------------+
Oklahoma
Dogs must have a permit signed by the mayor in order to
congregate in groups of three or more on private property.
Oklahoma will not tolerate anyone taking a bite out of
another's hamburger.
It is illegal to have the hind legs of farm animals in
your boots.
People who make "ugly faces" at dogs may be fined and/or
jailed.
Cars must be tethered outside of public buildings.
Oral sex is a misdemeanor and is punishable by one year
in jail and a $2,500 fine.
Anyone arrested for soliciting a hooker must have their
name and picture shown on television.
Fish may not be contained in fishbowls while on a public
bus.
Tissues are not to be found in the back of one's car.
It is illegal for the owner of a bar to allow anyone
inside to pretend to have sex with a buffalo.
***
------- Toilet seat museum named wackiest in U.S. --------
ALAMO HEIGHTS, Texas - A Texas museum dedicated to a
retired plumber's artwork -- decorated toilet seats --
has been named the Wackiest Attraction in America by a
popular Web site. TripAdvisor.com bestowed that design-
ation on the Toilet Seat Museum, in the garage of Alamo
Heights artist and retired plumber Barney Smith. The
museum features 900 hand-carved, painted and decorated
toilet seats for the viewing pleasure of the public,
KSAT-TV, San Antonio, Texas, reported Thursday. Smith has
toilet seats decorated as tributes to celebrities, famous
historical scenes and even lids with relics attached from
the space shuttle Challenger explosion and Nazi concentra-
tion camps. Running the museum, which Smith said has been
visited by people from all 50 states and 64 foreign
countries, has grown into a full-time job. "I get so tired
until I'll be a drilling in somebody's name and I will
drop my drill onto the toilet seat, and I'll pick it up
and rub my eyes and wake up and get busy there," he said.
"I'll work a few more hours before I ever turn off the
light and go to bed."
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-------- Girl's yearbook photo pulled over tuxedo ---------
WESSON, Miss. - A Mississippi high school student says
she is fighting to get her picture in the yearbook after
officials rejected it because she wore a tuxedo. Ceara
Sturgis of Wesson, a senior at Wesson Attendance Center,
said officials rejected her senior portrait because she
chose to wear a tuxedo for the picture instead of tradit-
ional feminine clothing, WLBT-TV, Jackson, Miss., report-
ed Thursday. "It makes me feel I'm not important enough.
Like just because I'm wearing a tux I can't be in my
senior yearbook. It's like I never even went there. That's
my yearbook. This is my senior year and I'm not gonna be
able to be in there because I'm wearing a tux. I don't
think it matters what we're wearing" said Sturgis, who
is openly gay. A Copiah County School District spokes-
woman said yearbook photo decisions are left up to the
principal. Principal Ronald Greer declined to comment.
Sturgis' mother, Veronica Rodriguez, said she has hired
an attorney to help get her daughter's picture in the
yearbook.
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----------- Model car collection record: 12,000 ------------
WESTON, Fla. - The Florida man who holds the world record
for largest collection of model cars, 7,000, said he broke
his own record by growing the collection to 12,000. Sergio
Goldvarg, 53, said Guinness World Records informed him
this month that it is replacing his old record, certified
in 2005, with a new record reflecting his current 12,000
total, which he reached in May with the addition of a
model Formula One Ferrari featured in the 2008 Chinese
Grand Prix, the South Florida Sun-Sentinel reported
Thursday. "In my house, I have a museum of the history of
cars," Goldvarg said. Gregg Hutchings, editor of Model
Cars Magazine, hailed Goldvarg's achievement. "Twelve-
thousand is a pretty good number," he said. "Hopefully it
re-sparks the interest that everybody had when they were
younger for model cars."
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
wow Lewis! I haven't got a Bizarre News in my inbox for
years! where you been man? - CN
[I'm right here. Where are you at?]
Thanks for letting us know what happened last week. I did
not get your newsletter or two others I am subscribed to
under another screen name. I was told it would take 7 days
to get back to me, but I heard it from you first. Now, if
I can just start getting my other newsletters I will be
happy again. - samwise
[For archived issues of Bizarre News head on over to
http://bizarrenews.gophercentral.com and go to town.]
Lewis, when visiting my mother-in-law in Pompano Beach,
Florida (Broward County) we drive past the Booby Trap on
Atlantic Blvd. It looks like a great place - they offer
"Free lunch daily" - wonder what they serve? - Paula
[I'm not too worried about the menu. I just hope that
they have wetnaps.]
Lewis? Was TZ surfing for porn when the server crashed?
You gotta get him under control!!! - Bob
[TZ was trying to corrupt the motherboard, if you catch my
drift.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com