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Saturday, April 23, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Police in Texas said a man accused of stealing steaks from Walmart led officers on a high-speed chase and struck a police car with meat tossed from his window.

Authorities said the suspect stole an undisclosed number of steaks from the Walmart Neighborhood Market in Longview.

The ensuing police chase reached speeds exceeding 100 mph and crossed two counties before the man was apprehended by Upshur County sheriff's deputies and East Mountain police.

East Mountain police Sgt. Marc Nichols said the suspect attempted to get rid of some of the pilfered meats while fleeing police.

"It appears that there's steaks and meats of some sort flying out the windows, and one of them bounced off my patrol car. That's not something you think of people stealing, especially running from the police in the process. Today was a new one."

Nichols said the suspect surrendered after eventually stopping.

Investigators said the suspect, whose name was not released, is believed to be a heroin user.


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*------------ Leave it to the French ------------*

A hero of Greek mythology, known for his virility and thirst for women, has been stripped of his manhood one too many times, according to a seaside town in France. A three-meter statue of Heracles, or Hercules, Greek mythology's divine hero, has stood in the Parc Mauresque in Arcachon since 1948, and the town has been powerless to stop vandals from constantly snapping off the beloved sculpture's genitalia. Until now, that is. To avoid any further pain or embarrassment to the statue, the townspeople have created a removable penis for the Greek God, for use only on special occasions which warrant ceremonies in the park. Deputy Mayor Martine Phelippot said it was the best solution, 'otherwise you just end up constantly chasing after the anatomy of Heracles'. And nobody wants that.


*-- New Zealand Learns a Trick from America --*

A New Zealand man who set fire to his house while burning a wasp nest with a spray can and a lighter is lucky he didn't burn the building down, a firefighter says. The man tried to get rid of the nest using the makeshift blowtorch through a hole in the wall to "smoke the wasps out" on Thursday night. Instead he started a fire in the wall cavity. Three fire crews responded to the blaze. Southbridge senior firefighter Ben Wilson said his crew were in "disbelief". "It's a bit of a shock that someone might have done that. "It's a good time to remember that aerosol cans and lighters are not a safe approach to any form of blowtorch." Wilson told the man to "leave it to the professionals" next time he had a bug infestation.


*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Who gives a 'hoot' about some trained owl? -Joe

If you smoke pot IN the police parking lot while illegally parked, it's kind of hard to make the argument that smoking pot doesn't make a person stupid.

LEWIS; While medical marijuana is indeed now legal in a number of states those states do restrict what it may be prescribed for. Doctors can prescribe it for glaucoma and cancer patients. However why can't psychiatrists prescribe marijuana for patients dealing with bad vibes? Seriously doing a few bongs could be beneficial for patients dealing with depression. For all we know legally prescribed medical marijuana might have saved Robin Williams' life. -R.S.

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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