Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I was going to write about a
group of students at a Massachusetts prep school who have broken a
world record by folding a 13,000-foot length of toilet paper in half
13 times...and while that is news worthy, I stumbled across a much
more science fictiony article.
Researchers at Washington
University have demonstrated that humans can control a cursor on a
computer screen using words spoken in their head. In other words,
By directly connecting the
patient's brain to a computer, the researchers showed that the
computer could be controlled with up to 90 percent accuracy even
when no prior training was given to the subjects.
How is this miracle of science
achieved? With a technique called electrocortiography â?? which
involves placing electrodes directly onto a patient's brain to
record electrical activity.
If this doesn't sound like The
Matrix to you yet, keep reading.
In the future researchers hope
to permanently insert implants into a patient's brain to help
restore functionality and, even more impressively, read someone's
mind.
Dr. Eric Leuthardt of Washington
University School of Medicine said, "This is one of the earliest
examples of what is called 'reading minds' â?? detecting what people
are saying to themselves in their internal dialogue."
And all you have to do is insert
some wires into your brain. The government should be mandating it in
about ten years.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. In case you haven't
noticed, we have a new format for Bizarre News which I hope you
like. Please drop me a note and let me know what you think!
lewis@gophercentral.com
+------------ Even More Bizarre April Holidays -----------+
April 21 is Kindergarten Day
April 22 is National Jelly Bean Day
April 23 is Read Me Day and World
Laboratory Animal Day
April 24 is National Pigs In A Blanket
Day
April 25 is National Zucchini Bread
Day
April 26 is Richter Scale Day and
National Pretzel Day
April 27 is Tell A Story Day
April 28 is Great Poetry Reading Day
and Kiss-Your-Mate Day
April 29 is .National Shrimp Scampi
Day
April 30 is National Honesty Day
--------- Father
fined for tattooing toddler ---------
ROME, Ga. - A Georgia man who
pleaded guilty to tattooing his 2-year-old son has been fined $300
and sentenced to a year's probation. Eugene Ashley, 26, was arrested
in 2009 after the Department of Family and Children Services made a
home visit and saw the letters "DB" tattooed on the toddler's
shoulder, the Rome (Ga.) News-Tribune reported Tuesday. When
arrested, Ashley told police "DB" stood for "Daddy's Boy." The boy
was three at the time, but District Attorney Leigh Patterson said
the tattooing had occurred a year earlier. In Georgia it is illegal
to tattoo a child younger than 18. Patterson called the crime
egregious but said it would have been impossible to go to a jury
with the case because of the victim's age. "I don't know if we would
be able to elicit a testimony from a child," Patterson said.
----- Ohio man charged for
barking at police dog -----
MASON, Ohio - Police in Ohio
said a man was charged with a misdemeanor count of teasing a police
dog after he was spotted making barking sounds at the canine. Mason
Police said Officer Bradley Walker was investigating a car crash
outside the Mason Pub at about 2:30 a.m. Sunday when he heard the
police dog in the back seat of his car "barking uncontrollably" in
response to Ryan Stephens, 25, "making barking noises" and "hissing"
at the animal, The Cincinnati Enquirer reported Wednesday. Walker
said Stephens began to walk away from the scene and ignored commands
to stop. He said he caught up with the suspect and asked him why he
was harassing the canine. "The dog started it," Stephens allegedly
replied. Stephens, who Walker said appeared "highly intoxicated,"
was released to a bar employee who promised to drive him home. He
was ordered to appear in court April 21 to face a charge of teasing
a police dog.
>>>>>>>>
READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<
Interesting office
picture...Who's the sex offender on the far left? He looks like
he's rubbing his boner on that poor girl standing in front of him.
-Ben
[I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count.]
Lewis..About that house in
Tifton Georgia that's infested with bats, but someone wants to buy
anyway. This gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "bat shit
crazy"!!! -Bill
[Bat guano is a rich source of phosphorous, which is essential
for an unusual variety of things like fertilizer and gunpowder. He
could potentially be sitting on a gold mine!]
Alternative fuel vehicles are
what should be on the road, and we could have all cars made that
way. But then the oil companies wouldn't be able to charge over $4
a gallon for their gas, and therefore they are taking steps to keep
people using cars that require gas. That's my theory, anyway.
-Chris
[Well, it depends on the fuel. There is really no excellent
alternative available right now. There are some good ones, but
nothing to replace gasoline.]
Lewis, with regards to driving,
where I live the closest convent store is about 2.5 miles away, the
grocery store I shop at is 9 miles, work is 28. I am not living in a
city where you can walk 500' to a store. but I like the Quiet over
all the noise and crime in the cities! -barry
[I used to live out in the sticks, too. The trick is stocking
up when you shop and doing a lot of cooking and chores for yourself!
That way you rarely need to make extraneous trips.]
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