Wednesday, January 8, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

I saw a story similar to this one a few days ago about a little girl who got stuck in a washing machine while playing a game of hide and seek (I'm assuming she lost) and had to have to machine cut apart around her. I decided to go with another story, but here bizarre fate has thrown me this little gem.

A naked Australian man who became stuck in a washing machine as part of an ill-planned practical joke was freed from the appliance with the help of some olive oil.

The 20-year-old man, identified only as "Laurence," said he was on his way to take a shower when he decided to climb into the top-loader to have a bit of fun. The fun quickly evaporated, however, when he realized he couldn't budge.

He called out to his friend for help, who rang the police. They responded to the scene, along with firefighters, paramedics and a search and rescue squad.

"He was very well wedged in there and we were concerned for his health and well-being," police Sgt. Michelle De Araugo said. "It was just a game gone wrong. It would be fair to say the gentleman was very embarrassed."

Rescuers tried in vain to pull Laurence from the machine. But when it became clear he was seriously stuck, they grabbed a bottle of his favorite olive oil to help lubricate his escape.

"I was quite disappointed they used my good olive oil," Laurence said. "As soon as the washing machine went on its side, it was a bit like a birthing."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Michigan barber to attempt 40 haircuts in an hour --*
DETROIT - A Michigan barber said he is aiming to break a world record by performing at least 35 haircuts in an hour. Bryan "B-Dogg" Price, 46, of Oak Park said he is practicing to attempt the goal April 6 at the Michigan Barber School in Detroit, where he obtained his license in 1988, the Detroit Free Press reported Monday. "I feel at home right here," Price said of the school. He said he needs to finish at least 35 haircuts to break the world record, but his goal is to reach 40. "The patron has to have a full head of hair where you're able to line it all around," he said of the rules for breaking the record. Price said he is planning to use two sets of clippers, one in each hand, and quickly move back and forth between two chairs while customers quickly change places in the seats. He said he will clip and line each cut, even over the ears. "These cuts are free, and two more are free after," Price said. "That first cut -- that's the way I want to do it. They're going by my rules, so, you know, I have to go ahead and hook them up, give them something for doing it for me, show them I appreciate it." Ivan Zoot, who set the record in 2008 by giving 34 haircuts in an hour in Texas, said he applauds Price's ambition. "My words of advice would be, first of all, good luck," Zoot said. "Second of all, follow the rules very, very carefully."


*-- Name of Fu King Smoke Shop irks New Jersey parents --*
HACKENSACK, N.J. - A New Jersey smoke shop is angering some locals who say it's name, the Fu King Smoke Shop, contains a thinly veiled profanity. Michelle Tavares, president of the Parent Teacher Association at the Fairmount School a block from the Hackensack store, said the name is inappropriate for children, the Record of Hackensack reported Monday. "It's almost like it's an insult to the intelligence of our community. Do you really think we don't know what that is supposed to mean? That our children don't know what that means?" Tavares said. Other parents and residents have said they want city officials to force store owner Robert Reichert to remove the Fu King sign from outside of the store, which has yet to officially open. Reichert said the sign is not meant to be profane. He said Fu is a Chinese word meaning wealth or luck. "There is a meaning behind it," Reichert said. "It's not just words thrown up on the canvas. If they're offended by reading it, then it's the way their mind is looking at it." Reichert said the city gave him permission to put up the sign, but a city zoning official disputed his claim and has issued him a summons. The store owner said he will fight the summons in court.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis; The guy that made the bin Laden compound out of gingerbread has way too much time on his hands. Was he in prison or something?
[You don't have to be in prison to have lame hobbies. Look at me!]

Really Lewis "Obama Bin Laden"? I sincerely hope that was a typo & not some half-witted attempt at showing disdain for our President.
[It was absolutely an error. Just like when all of the talking heads on television and politicians have done it. Just a "misstatement" I believe is the accepted phraseology.]

Lewis...I must know, is that your first name or your last name? Or just an alias? -Chris
[It's an anagram.]

Gee, Lewis! I'm surprised that the guy'd get upset about the lesbian hitting on his girlfriend. Most guys would love to watch such a thing. As for the party hostess losing her temper and getting so violent, I'm guessing she must've been pretty drunk or under the influence of who-knows-what. Crazy things often seem to happen at New Year's Eve parties. -R.S.
[Maybe he was a little insecure. How would it make you feel if a woman turned lesbian after dating you?]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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