Saturday, February 4, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The old wisdom, if you find yourself on fire is to stop, drop and roll. I would make this addendum; do not throw your baby out of a second story window before you stop, drop and roll. Better yet, do not become involved in a relationship with the kind of person who would set you on fire over rent money while you are holding a baby. That would probably be the best idea.

They take their rent money seriously in Cleveland. Police say Kevin Ford was haggling with his girlfriend Tiffany Lawson over rent money she supposedly owed him when he suddenly doused her in lighter fluid and set her ablaze while she was clutching her 18-month-old son.

Witnesses said Lawson rushed to her second floor window and tossed him to neighbors, who had gathered below after hearing her screams.

Lawson then followed her baby out of the window to escape her boyfriend, who, apparently still had some matches.

She managed to put herself out, and both she and the baby were rushed to the hospital.

Fortunately there was somebody outside of that window with good hands to catch that baby, so the story had a happier ending than it might otherwise have had. Or it would have been happier if the person who caught the baby hadn't spiked it.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- More Bizarre February Holidays --*
February 11 is White Tee-Shirt Day and Don't Cry Over Spilled Milk Day
February 12 is National Plum Pudding Day
February 13 is Get A Different Name Day and Dream Your Sweet Day
February 14 is Ferris Wheel Day and National Heart to Heart Day
February 15 is National Gum Drop Day
February 16 is Do A Grouch A Favor Day
February 17 is Champion Crab Races Day
February 18 is National Battery Day
February 19 is National Chocolate Mint Day
February 20 is Hoodie Hoo Day

(Even More Bizarre February Holidays Next Issue)

*-- Two beers cost family $2,550 --*
INDIANAPOLIS - An Indiana family said they were shocked when their credit card statement said a pair of beers they bought at a convention cost $1,497.50 each. The family, who asked not to be named, said the beers at the NFL Experience concession stand at the Indiana Convention Center Jan. 28 were supposed to cost a total $14, but they later found their credit card had instead been charged $2,995, WXIN-TV, Indianapolis, reported Thursday. "We just went up there and grabbed two beers signed it, got our drinks and went on," the credit card owner said. "Even though there may be lines and people waiting and everyone wants to get through quickly, still make sure you check the cost of everything and when you get home check your statements because you never know with such a big event there could be an error somewhere." The convention center's concession manager, Centerplate, issued a statement Wednesday night saying officials are working to correct the overcharge. The company said such problems are rare.

*-- 'Jack Sparrow' injured in costume fracas --*
LOS ANGELES - Police in Los Angeles were looking for Catwoman and two sidekicks Thursday after Jack Sparrow was assaulted in a fight among people dressed as movie characters. The costumed characters pose for pictures with tourists on Hollywood Boulevard and expect to be paid for the service, the Los Angeles Times reported. Local ordinances bar them from asking directly for money, although they are permitted to accept tips. In recent months, SpongeBob Squarepants and Spider-Man have both been arrested after altercations. Police Officer Norma Eisenman said Thursday's fracas played out in front of an audience of tourists. The injured man, dressed as the lead pirate in the "Pirates of the Caribbean" series, was not seriously hurt. Catwoman, an alien and another pirate took off before police arrived, and officers fanned out to look for them.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, I always think you are well thought out and reasonable, but I am a teacher and if you think the education system is "training kids to be in a police state" you are falling into the wackos. sorry dude, but we just want to teach kids without them being allowed to cuss, hit, and kick me. in my 15 yrs of teaching I have seen about 2 kids who really had issues and really needed help. the others could control their actions. -Hunter

Lewis, Mankind has polluted the Earth with his many schemes, but compared to Mother Natures ability to control the Climate etc., Humans are just a small boil on the Earth. When we are gone, the Earth will heal and Humans will be forgotten just like the Dinosaurs. The climate is getting warmer because we are in an 'Interglacial Period'. Only the massive egos of some people would believed that humans have caused the change or can do anything about it. Get over it and become prepared for it. -Bill
[You shouldn't under estimate human industry. Did you know that the Three Gorges Dam in China will lengthen Earth's day by 6 microseconds and shift the pole position by about two centimeters when the lake behind it is at full capacity? The entire planet affected in just ten years. Don't you think, given over a hundred years, the entire human population could impact the global environment?]

Lewis, forget about what it would cost to raise the elephants, who had to handle the pooper-scooper and where does all that waste go? I shudder at the thought. -Dona
[Just think of all the fertilizer, not to mention methane you could get out of it.]

Lewis, one of the problems with some of the kids in school these days is that THE LITTLE BASTARDS ARE, IN FACT, LITTLE BASTARDS. They need a set of real parents at home to raise them properly. -Linda P.
[You aren't alone. A lot of people believe the degradation of the family unit (not to mention family values) is the major contributing factor to the epidemic of juvenile delinquency. On the other hand there are people who think it takes a village to raise a child...not a family.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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