Bizarre News - August 15, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Three men face charges after allegedly going on a treasure hunt in the sewers below Flatbush, NY. The suspects were pulled out empty handed from the sewers after their our-hour adventure.

"God knows what they were looking for, and damn sure I wouldn't be crawling through the sewers of New York," said Police Commissioner Bill Bratton.

Winston, Ray and Egon - I mean Marquis Evans, 21, Damien Nieves, 35, and David Hannibal, 45, face trespassing and reckless endangerment charges. They apparently went into the sewer with metal detectors to help find valuables, officials said.

Evans, a Department of Environmental Protection employee, allegedly gave the other two access to the manhole.

"We're not going to weld them all shut," Bratton said. "Any idiot that wants to crawl below the streets unfortunately can do it by prying."

The police were alerted to the incident by a citizen who saw them pop the manhole open and climb in. Bratton praised the caller for following the 'see something, say something' adage.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Woman sues restaurant known for throwing rolls after she gets hit by bread --*
SIKESTON, Mo. - A diner filed a lawsuit Monday against a Missouri restaurant famous for its "throwed rolls" after a piece of bread hit her and caused an injury. Troy Tucker sued Lambert's Cafe in Sikeston, Mo., after she said she was hit by a roll and "sustained a lacerated cornea with a vitreous detachment and all head, neck, eyes and vision were severely damaged" in September 2014, WDAF-TV, St. Louis, Mo., reported. She is seeking $25,000 to pay for her medical bills and legal fees. The lawsuit said Lambert's Cafe should know about the dangers caused by throwing rolls. Jerry Johnson, the general manager of the restaurant, told KFVS-TV in Cape Girardeau, Mo., the employees never mean to injure anyone when they throw rolls. He said people have tried to sue the restaurant in the past, and in some cases, the company's insurance has paid the cost of medical bills. It's unclear if Tucker has a case for her allegations of "carelessness and negligence" against Lambert's Cafe. There are multiple signs inside and and outside the restaurant calling it "Home of Throwed Rolls."


*-- Florida woman caught on camera having toddler blow into breathalyzer --*
APOPKA, Fla. - A Florida woman accused of leaving her young children in the car while drinking in a bar was caught on camera having her 4-year-old blow into her breathalyzer. The Apopka police officer's body camera was recording Sunday when April King, 35, handed the breathalyzer installed in her vehicle to her 4-year-old son so he could blow into it and start the car. The officer was questioning King on allegations she left the boy and his 2-year-old sibling alone in the car while she drank at Froggers Grill and Bar. King was arrested on child endangerment charges and held in lieu of $1,500 bail. King's husband, Doug King, said he had the breathalyzer installed in his wife's car after her recent stint in rehab. He said his wife has a drinking problem and he does not intend to bail her out of jail. "I think this is the best thing for her. Rehab hasn't worked and she hasn't learned anything from it," Doug King told WFTV. He said he is taking his children, who were released into the custody of a babysitter because he was out of town at the time of the incident, and moving to Oklahoma.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Where the heck is there a country named Murica??
[Murica is in the heart of every chicken wing-lovin', beer-swillin', gun-totin', flag-wavin', mother-lovin', minority-hatin', money-grubbin' Murican who walks free and proud on God's somewhat sooty, industrially-polluted Earth!]

Lewis; As a former condo owner I find it most offensive any HOA takes their authority too seriously. It seems that neighbors including the HOA should make being good neighbors who get along a top priority. Nit-paicking about such things as the color of children's playground stuff is just HOA officers drunk with power. -R.S.
[You're preaching to the choir. I used to belong to an HOA and I hated it.]

Lewis, Wow, these HOA's need to get a grip on reality. They try to control everyone's lives. This is the main reason when we bought our house if there was an HOA it was OFF the list as I do not need anyone else but the wife telling me how to set up my own house inside and outside. -Gary
[I know what you mean. My wife is a bigger bully than my old HOA ever was. On the other hand, I never got laid with any of the HOA board members.]

There is a Japanese anime called "Bikini Warriors" which has 4 clueless Women heroes which has huge "assets." They are so good with their weapons and magical skills that their armor consists of magical bras and panties. Maybe there is something to magical bras that can deflect weapons. -Allen
[Thanks a lot. You forced me to look up "Bikini Warriors" and now I am feeling very uncomfortable about cartoons.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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