Bizarre News - September 20, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A car full of teenagers crashed in Idaho after authorities say one of the passengers lit the driver's armpit hair on fire with a lighter.

All five young people in the Ford Bronco were hurt in the crash and had to receive medical treatment. Authorities say two of the passengers were thrown from the vehicle, but none of the five suffered life-threatening injuries.

The Ada County Sheriff's Office says the rollover occurred after a 16-year-old boy was goofing off in the front seat and lit 18-year-old Tristian Myers' armpit hair on fire while Myers was driving.

Deputies cited Myers with inattentive driving, while the 16-year-old was cited for interfering with the driver's safety.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Malaysian man has ball bearings removed from penis --*
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (UPI) - A Malaysian man who implanted 10 metal ball bearings in his penis to bolster his sexual abilities had to have the balls surgically removed when they started to rust. The man, identified as Ramli, 44, told the Harian Metro newspaper he implanted the balls himself after a friend told him he had successfully used the method to increase his sexual stamina. "My private part swelled up for three days but I endured the pain and didn't see a doctor," Ramli said of his self-surgery. He said the wound healed and he found the method was effective in helping him satisfy his sexual partners, but a few months later he discovered he was unable to get an erection. Ramli said a doctor recommended he have the metal balls removed or risk irreversible impotence. He said the balls were removed surgically and he discovered the trouble had come from them rusting inside his body.


*- Drug-filled football toss at prison 'immature' -*
JACKSON, Mich. (UPI) - A Michigan man who admitted throwing a drug-filled football over a prison fence was "immature" was sentenced to prison. Christen Deon-Sterling Moore, 22, apologized in Jackson County Circuit Judge Susan Beebe's courtroom Wednesday for throwing a football containing marijuana, suspected heroin and three cell phones over a fence at the G. Robert Cotton Correctional Facility in June of this year. Authorities said Moore's package failed to reach prisoners, as it only made it over one of the facility's two fences. Moore, who was under probation at the time of the offense for a 2012 home invasion charge, told the court it was "a thoughtless and immature decision" to attempt to throw the contraband-filled football into the facility. Moore was sentenced to 17 to 60 months in prison for two counts of furnishing contraband to a prisoner.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hey Louis: Don't you think the people with the dog that eats their underwear would have switched to the edible kind after the first or second offense? Some people just don't think of the most practical solution to things. -Brad.
[Brad, I think all dogs are edible, more or less. Particularly if you're Korean.]

Lewis; In the fight between the strip club and the church, I have to side with boobies. You see, God made boobies, He didn't make the church, man made the church and I've seen some heavenly boobies in my time. -Wes
[Excellent point, Wes. Would Pastor Bill Dunfee have demonstrated outside the Garden of Eden?]

Lewis, I found it amusing that the reader lectured you on misusing the word peruse, and then misspelled "pursue." Glass houses and all that. -Greg
[Everybody makes typos, and I don't like to point them out as long as nobody geos out of there way too point out mine.]

Lewis, So, it is legal in Ohio for women to protest topless in front of a church without getting arrested for indecent exposure? Interesting!! -Gary
[It is perfectly legal for women to go topless in New York, California, Texas and a number of other states...God bless America.]

I am guessing that church attendance is going to skyrocket with topless protestors in front. -Z
[Excellent point, Zed. Nothing gets worshipers out of bed in the morning like the prospect of titties.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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