GopherCentral Book Collection
Six Sensational Books At One LOW Price...
List Price: $59.92 READER'S PRICE: $5.99
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/1061/c/186/a/499
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Saturday, February 27, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
There can be only one...crazy mother running up and down the
halls of an elementary school swinging a sword. At least in
Tennessee. Other states may have higher limits.
The whole issue started with two second grade girls getting
into a fight and spitting on each other. As happens with this
kind of thing the parents were called. Little did the school
know that the mother of little Aaliyyah Price is the legendary
Highlander.
32-year-old Toni Price went to the school to confront the
parents of the girl who spit on her daughter, but the girl's
parents wasn't there.
According to court records, Toni Price ended up inside the
school where an employee reported a drunk woman was armed with
a sword running through the halls of the school. She told
police Price was threatening to cut her.
Officers who arrived on the scene retrieved a black walking
cane in which a long sharp blade is concealed.
Price told police she drank a 40 ounce bottle of Colt 45
before going to the school. She's charged with aggravated
assault, having a weapon on school property and being a
pompous Spanish peacock.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+--------------- Bizarre March Holidays ----------------+
March 1 is National Pig Day and Peanut Butter Lover's Day
March 2 is Old Stuff Day
March 3 is I Want You To Be Happy Day, Peach Blossom Day
and National Anthem Day
March 4 is Holy Experiment Day
March 5 is Multiple Personalities Day
March 6 is National Frozen Food Day
March 7 is National Crown Roast Of Pork Day
March 8 is Be Nasty Day
March 9 is Panic Day
March 10 is Festival Of Life In The Cracks Day
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----------- Couple sued over 'ugly' kitchen -------------
NEW YORK - A New York realty group is suing the owners
of a floor at the Gramercy Park Hotel for installing an
"ugly" Ikea kitchen at the property. The Paramount Realty
Group said retail mogul Jon Asgeir Johannesson and his
wife, designer Ingibjorg Palmadottir, agreed to rent out
the 16th floor of the Gramercy Park Hotel for $312,000
last year, but the "ugly" kitchen has been an embarrass-
ment for the renting tenant, the New York Daily News
reported Thursday. "Defendants willfully installed what
(Jon Asgeir Johannesson) defined as an 'ugly' kitchen,"
the suit states. "The kitchen installed is manufactured
by Ikea, which is generally known to offer low-budget
furniture." "The kitchen has also been a source of
embarrassment for Plaintiff and the subject of remarks
by guests," Paramount said in the suit. The lawsuit is
seeking $52,000 in damages.
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------- Police: Drunk man drove off with gas hose -------
SOUTH BEND, Ind. - Indiana police said they arrested an
alleged drunk driver who drove away from a gas station
with the nozzle and hose still attached to his vehicle.
St. Joseph County police said they received calls Monday
night about a truck on westbound U.S. 20/U.S. 31 with a
gas station hose dangling from the side and striking pass-
ing vehicles, the South Bend (Ind.) Tribune reported.
Officers said the driver, a 46-year-old South Bend man,
smelled of alcohol when he was pulled over on Indiana 2
and failed several field sobriety tests before being
booked into the St. Joseph County Jail. Police said his
blood alcohol content was measured at 0.13 at the jail,
well over the 0.08 legal limit for driving. The man told
police he had recently purchased gas from a Speedway
station. The hose and nozzle were returned to the
business.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14380/c/120/a/499
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
When I was a bike courier in Toronto years ago, I remember
me and a friend chasing a bike thief down. I repoed the
bike for the happy young woman and Kevin wrestled the guy
to the ground, and then somehow locked him to a stair rail
with a kryptonite lock around his neck. Lost the lock,
Kevin later said, but man, it was worth it for the look on
his face. I bet he never stole another bike after that.
-Mike, Toronto
[And here I thought Wolverine was the only Canadian super-
hero.]
Lewis, I forward your letter to 10 of my friends that I have
on a group email. I don't know if any have signed up yet. I
have a few less raunchy friends so I have to delete some of
your remarks. Keep up the great work, you really make my
morning.
[Thank you! It's nice to be appreciated, if edited.]
I read the Bizzare News every morning with my coffee, and
it starts my day out right, because I am learning something
new every day and the are good for a laugh. --Shirley
Lewis, Just wanted to say that your column is maintaining
its level of excellence. You have managed to offend the
left and the right so this tells me that you are indeed,
fair and balanced. --John
[Thank you. And piss off.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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