Bizarre News - September 30, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Even though some things are painfully, even dangerously
obvious, they are still incomprehensible to some people. Take the example of the savant in today's story. Clearly not understanding the role gasoline plays in an internal combustion engine, he set a cigarette lighter to his own gas tank...at a gas station, no less. But the reason why he did it is the real kicker.

The man in Michigan is lucky to be alive after his stunt set not only his car but the gas station pump he was parked at on fire. Security video shows the unidentified man bending over and applying the lighter to the side of his vehicle, right next to the open gas tank.

An employee at the gas station hit the automatic stop button and quickly called the fire department. The man grabbed a fire extinguisher and put out the flames before firefighters arrived.

Somehow, the man was not seriously injured and the damage to the gas station was contained to one pump, which was destroyed.

He admitted to investigators that he saw a spider crawling on his gas tank and tried to burn it alive with his lighter.

Surprisingly, the man was not embarrassed to come back to the gas station the following day to apologize.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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* Police 'arrest' goat for loitering at Tim Horton's *
WARMAN, Saskatchewan - Police in Saskatchewan said an unruly goat that insisted on sleeping in the entrance to a Tim Horton's was "arrested" while officers sought to find its owners. The Royal Canadian Mounted Police of Saskatchewan said two Warman officers were called to the Tim Horton's early Sunday by employees who said they repeatedly led the goat out of the eatery, but the animal would just come back in through the automatic doors and try to take a nap in the entrance. "The [RCMP] members believed he was just cold and he decided to lie down and wanted to sleep in the entrance. He was 'arrested' and escorted into the police vehicle. He was very unhappy with this so the members decided to take him home instead of to holding cells at the detachment," the RCMP said. The RCMP members went door-to-door but were unable to identify the goat's owners and Animal Control officials told them the agency doesn't typically deal with goats. The wayward goat was taken to a local animal hospital, where it was later reunited with its owners.


*-- Police: Dog rescued after driving owner's pickup into lake --*
ELLSWORTH, Maine - Police in Maine said a small dog was to blame for driving its owners pickup truck into a lake by knocking the vehicle out of gear. The Ellsworth Police Department said the Yorkie's owner had been walking the dog around Branch Lake Saturday afternoon and he put the canine back into his pickup truck while it was idling. Lt. Harold Page told the Ellsworth American the dog "knocked the truck out of gear and it rolled down the parking lot into the lake." The Ellsworth Police Department said in a Facebook post the dog was rescued from the submerged pickup by a woman who is a friend of the owner. "The truck was fully submerged and without the quick response of the family friend the man would have lost his companion. She is a hero in my book," the post said. Police said the pickup was fished out of the lake by a towing crew, but the vehicle was considered a total loss.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, I was left-handed when I was young, but was encouraged to use my right hand instead when it came to things like writing. Does that make me an impaired evil person? -David
[No, it makes you a guy who doesn't know which hand to use when he masturbates.]

lewis if I want tacos for dinner my wife will make them. if you want to get sick go to taco bell.that place is the most unhealthy place to go for food. also the employees aren't too nice either.
[You know, I don't know a single person who has eaten Taco Bell without getting debilitating shits. I don't know how the company stays in business. If anybody has eaten Taco Bell without practically shitting their colon out, please let me know.]

Lewis, I think having to eat Domino's Pizza for a year is more of a punishment than a reward.
[It could be worse. It could be Taco Bell.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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