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Bizarre News - January 28, 2015
Greetings fellow Bizarros:You have heard of the Italian Necktie (sometimes called the Columbian Necktie) and the Chicago Smile. Now some innovators in California have come up with a new, diabolical punishment for the victims. It is being called the Stockton Duck Face.
It all began when robbers in Stockton, California assaulted their victim in a painful and unusual way.
According to a statement from the Stockton Police, a 26-year-old man was walking on Pacific Avenue when he noticed he was being followed by three suspects. One suspect called out to the man, and as the man was trying to get away, was hit on the back of the head and knocked to the ground.
Two of the suspects held the man down while the third suspect went through his pockets and took his money.
The suspects then reportedly pushed the man's face into the side of an abandoned shopping cart, forcing his lips through the mesh. They then ran away.
The man lost consciousness and was later found by paramedics who had to cut the cart from his face.
The man's condition is unknown, but it is feared that the opportunity for an epic selfie was tragically missed.
Bizarrely,
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Email Lewis*-- German judge: Man can't be fined for peeing standing up --*DUSSELDORF, Germany (UPI) - A German judge ruled a tenant can't be held responsible for floor damage resulting from urinating while in the standing position. Dusseldorf Judge Stefan Hank sided with the tenant, whose lawsuit said the landlord refused to return $2,100 of his $3,300 deposit, alleging the resident's urine had damaged the marble floor around the toilet. Hank said the arguments from the landlord and a "technical expert" who confirmed urine was responsible for the marble tile damage were "credible and understandable," but not enough to sway his opinion. "Despite the increasing domestication of men in this regard, urinating while standing up is still widespread," the judge wrote in his ruling. Hank said the landlord should have warned the tenant of the floor's "sensitivity" to urine droplets. "Anyone who still practices this formerly dominant custom has to expect occasional clashes with -- especially female -- flatmates. But they don't have to worry about corrosion to the marble floor," Hank wrote. There has been a growing movement in Germany to convert "Stehpinkler," men who stand while urinating, into tidier "Sitzpinkler," men who sit to pee. Opponents of the movement sometimes use "Sitzpinkler" as a derogatory term to insult a man's masculinity.
*-- Zoo offers roach, scorpion adoptions for scorned lovers --*SAN FRANCISCO (UPI) - The San Francisco Zoo is bringing Valentine's Day cheer to scorned ex-lovers by allowing them to adopt cockroaches and scorpions in the names of their exes. "This Valentine's Day, if you care enough to send the very best, you'll choose our charming Madagascar Hissing Cockroach package," the zoo said on its website. The zoo suggested the adoption package for the hissing cockroach, which grows to a size of 2-4 inches long and is believed to be the only hissing insect, is the perfect way to show "your favorite ex" that you have "moved on" with your life. The zoo also suggested jilted lovers consider adopting a giant hairy scorpion in the name of a "low-life ex." "So the latest affair didn't work out and given your ex's record-breaking ability to move on, you suspect foul play. Well, nothing soothes the sting like the adoption of a giant hairy scorpion in honor of your former beloved. It's no surprise, these invertebrates are aggressive, active, and alarmingly nocturnal. "Much like your low-life ex, they are usually found in and around low-elevation valleys where they dig elaborate burrows or 'caves.' Also just like you-know-who, when a suitable victim wanders by, the scorpion grabs the doomed creature with its pinchers and stings the prey. After the prey is immobilized, the scorpion tears the carcass apart with its pinchers and begins feeding. Charming. "Your Adopt-a-Giant Hairy Scorpion donation will be used to support these mysterious invertebrates and further the San Francisco Zoological Society's mission to connect people to wildlife, inspire caring for nature, and advance conservation action. We can't make any promises, but urban legend says that the gift of a scorpion adoption serves as permanent protection against future romantic stings. Let the healing begin." For those whose romantic lives have yet to go horribly wrong, the zoo is offering adoption packages for cuter animals including snow leopards, penguins and lemurs.
*-- READER COMMENTS --*Hey Lewis! In New Jersey, the people in charge of enforcing building codes decreed that every town had to hire an elevator inspector. The leaders of three towns objected on the grounds that the towns had no elevators. The powers that be said that in order for the building codes to be uniform, they had to be followed by everyone. So three towns have elevator inspectors but no elevators for them to inspect. I read this in Leland H. Gregory III's book "Great Government Goofs". -Jody
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I would be inclined not to believe this story, except I know Leland Gregory's work. I have heard so many of these bizarre bureaucratic waste and abuse stories, but they still manage to amaze and disgust me.]
I don't like to say I told you so, but .... " Another family is grieving and their community is in shock after a toddler found his father's gun and shot himself dead in the family car. Kevin Ahles left his two-year-old son Kaleb Ahles alone in the car while the family were moving out of their house in East Lake, Florida, when Kaleb discovered a gun in the secured glove box and accidentally pulled the trigger, Pinellas County Sheriff Bob Gualtieri said." It seems you yanks never learn. -Andrew
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It's a damn shame when an innocent victim has to pay for someone else being an idiot.]
The circus's have not used a dummy for the human cannon ball act. A little Google research will show how dangerous this act really is. I believe there have been at least 12 people killed. To say it is faked is an insult to the performers who do this act. -Joe
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The human cannonball is a brave and noble, if somewhat deaf breed. No posers.]
*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --****Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News ArchivesWell, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS