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Saturday, September 18, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
One of the advantages of being a Bizarre News editor is
that it is possible to start a conversation anywhere,
anytime. One such incident occurred over the weekend while
I was having lunch with some friends.
I overheard the folks at the table next to us debating the
famous "exploding whale" incident. This is an actual event
that happened in 1970, but is so bizarre it has earned
urban legend status so that nobody even believes it anymore.
A synopsis of the story is that a 45 foot, eight-ton whale
beached itself somewhere along Oregon and promptly died.
After a week or so the stench became so bad that the coast
guard decided to blow it up with dynamite, since that is
much easier than trying to dig a hole large enough to bury
a whale. However, nobody in Oregon had ever detonated a
whale before, so they estimated that it would take
approximately one quarter ton (that's 500 pounds) of
dynamite to do the job.
They slightly over-estimated.
They moved spectators back one-quarter mile before blowing
the giant mammal, but it was not nearly enough to compensate
for the mountain of black powder officials buried under the
whale. A few moments after the explosion, flaming blubber
came raining down nearly one-half mile from the beach.
People began scrambling for cover in terror. One chunk was
large enough to completely demolish an automobile on which
it fell. Fortunately, personal injuries were minor.
You can see how people might be incredulous about this
story, especially since it is 30 years old and evidence
for it is scarce. But if you are a purveyor of the bizarre
this kind of thing is old hat.
So before the debate at the next table over true vs. untrue
became heated I interjected. I filled in the details for
them and even suggested that video of the event is still
available on the internet. They proved to be Bizarros at
heart, even if they weren't subscribers to this newsletter,
and we were soon trading our favorite stories.
At the very least I was able to recruit four new
subscribers, although this is a rather laborious way to
make my readership grow. So if you know somebody who
appreciates the bizarre, forward them a copy!
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER:
http://twitter.com/MyBizarreNews
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+------ Bizarre Video - Shagged By A Rare Parrot -------+
Stephen Fry and zoologist Mark Carwardine find themselves
in New Zealand through one of the most dramatic landscapes
in the world. They encounter this flightless parrot which,
well you have to watch.
Click & View: http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=17344
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6. Lucy and George Burns
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--------- Dog's 4.5-inch tongue sets world record ---------
AUSTIN, Texas - Guinness World Records officials said
accomplishments recorded in the 2011 edition, out Thursday,
include a Texas dog's 4.5-inch tongue. Guinness officials
said Puggy, a 10-year-old Pekingese, made it into the
record book with a tongue nearly as long as his body,
The Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. Becky Stanford,
Puggy's current owner, said the canine was abandoned by
its original owners. "People who meet Puggy for the first
time do a lot of double takes; they are in total disbelief
and are amused by his unique appearance," Stanford said.
"It means a great deal to us that he has accomplished what
he has. From being a stray dog, being dumped, to being a
Guinness World Record Holder is just phenomenal. I just
can't believe it." Other new records in the 2011 edition
of the book include world's largest collection of "Smurfs"
memorabilia, belonging to Stephen Parkes, 44, of
Nottingham, England, and the world's smallest cow, a
Rishworth, England, bovine measuring 33 inches from hind
to foot.
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-------- Bank robbery ends when teller said no cash --------
NORTH CHARLESTON, S.C. - Police in South Carolina said
they arrested a man who tried to rob a bank but instead
thanked the teller and left when she claimed not to have
any money. North Charleston police said Melvin Jesse Blain,
31, who had recently served 46 months in prison for a bank
robbery conviction, admitted to entering the Wachovia
branch at 1 p.m. and handing the teller a note demanding
$30,000 in $100 bills, the Charleston Post and Courier
reported Thursday. The police report said Blain thanked
the teller and left the bank when the teller told him she
didn't have the money. Blain was arrested while walking
down the street where the bank is located. He was charged
with entering a bank with the intent to steal.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14380/c/120/a/499
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Why did the 64 year old Missouri woman have a tape measure
to hit the naked intruder with? If he measured up, he
would be a keeper instead? -Stephen
The problem is, when we support the police or fire or
military, we're supporting legitimate functions of the
government. The military is explicitly enumerated among
the powers granted to Congress by the Constitution, and
the fire and police are legitimate functions carried out
by states and local governments under their police powers.
A lot of people are getting tired of government engaging
in functions it was never meant to undertake, and then
trying to cut the services it should be engaged in first
whenever a financial crisis comes up. For instance, there
are military projects that can be cut to help the deficit,
however, the only thing that Barack Obama is willing to
really cut is the military budget. Every other budget is
being pushed through the roof. -Alan
[That's because politicians don't get votes by cutting
money and services to their constituents.]
Hello Lewis: I always thought it was the guy who rear
ended someone who payed, not the guy who was rear-ended.
I nearly rear ended a real stupid kid on a motor scooter
who dawdled at a blind intersection, potentially real
messy. But I stopped within 20 feet of this stupid kid,
However I paid a price, a broken tie rod end because of
the hard stop, about $500.00. -JT.
As for tax. If you want more services go earn it. Don't
expect the government to provide them because they aren't
free. There are certain services that everyone agrees we
need. However there is a lot of money that is just wasted.
And there are a lot of things the majority agrees we don't
need. Or people think sure that would be nice, but the
costs to provide it are crippling. For example in Canada
there was a push for subsidized daycare. The costs of that
are ridiculous so for one year we ended up with subsidized
daycare for whatever 10% of the population signed up first.
Gee that was intelligent and fair... John in Ontario
[Subsidized daycare? I'm sure the federal government would
do a great job raising the nation's kids. Look at how good
public schools are.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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