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Bizarre News - June 6, 2015
Greetings fellow Bizarros: I just read a story about a disgusting experiment in social engineering has been conducted in Portugal over the last 14 years. And you won't believe what those Madeira-drinking pinkos have done!
In 2001 Portugal decriminalized a number of illicit drugs and began focusing on treatment programs instead of punishment. Under the decriminalization laws, users are allowed to possess a 10-day supply of illicit drugs - anything from marijuana to heroin - and those who have more are sent before a three-person drug commission. The panel decides on a fine or treatment, but opts for treatment in four out of every five cases.
What's with all this touchy-feely, therapeutic, treating-people-like-humans crap?
The way to treat a drug problem is the American way; you declare a war on it.
You criminalize everything. You suspend basic human rights like the prohibition against unreasonable searches and seizures and burden of proof. And you give the police unprecedented powers like asset forfeiture, with almost no accountability.
Then, after decades of enforcement and hundreds of billions of dollars, what you get is the highest incarceration rate in the world, with about half of the inmates (according to some federal estimates) in prison for some form of drug offense or another, and an actual increase in drug use and traffic.
THAT'S how you deal with drugs.
But when you pussyfoot around with drugs like they have been doing in Portugal for the last 14 years you know what you get?
The total number of people using drugs in Portugal since 2001 has actually fallen by more than a third. Not only have overall rates come down, heroin addiction rates have been cut in half.
HIV infections, which are spread by shared needles, have also been cut in half, while the number of drug-related deaths has been cut by 75 percent.
Stupid Portuguese.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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lewis@gophercentral.com----------------------------------------------------------*---------- Man Saws Neighbor's Garage in Half ----------*A judge in Grand Rapids, Minn., has ruled that if someone else's garage sits partially on your property, it's OK to saw it in half. The ruling comes in the case against Roger Weber of Nashwauk who sawed Mark Besemann's garage in half. Besemann had purchased the house from Weber's sister, unaware that a family feud was raging over the location of the garage. Besemann sued Weber but Judge Lois Lang has ruled that Weber had a legal right to remove the portion of the garage that sat on his property.
*- How Long Does It Take to Poop 1.5 Pounds of Cocaine? -*Five days. That's how long 28-year-old Regis Walker spent in a hospital "passing" the drug pellets after she was arrested last week at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport. Walker, a U.S. citizen, arrived on a flight from Jamaica. U.S. Customs and Border Protection officials took her aside for a baggage search and interview. She was taken to Broward Health Medical Center in Fort Lauderdale after agreeing to be X-rayed. The X-ray revealed that Walker appeared to be carrying approximately 54 pellets filled with cocaine within her body.
----------------------------------------------------------*--------------- READER COMMENTS ---------------*I don't know, after his performance in The Expendables I'd be tempted to piss on Dolph Lundgren.
Regarding your story about the woman with the 13 empty cans of whipped cream you stated that "No pie was discovered". You're wrong, she had - are you ready? - a hair pie! Sorry, I couldn't resist. -Gary
[Next time please try to resist harder.]
Lewis; I have to get a Thync. If I could set it and then slap it on my bosses forehead and zap her into next week and get a raise at the same time, man, my life would be grand. I mean the uses I could come up with. -Wes
[It won't be long before somebody comes up with the idea to slap it on their dick. That'll make a good bizarre story.]
*---- END OF READER COMMENTS ----*