Bizarre News - March 29, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Icicles are dangerous. Anybody can tell you that. They can damage your house. They can drop down from the edge of your roof and puncture your skull! They can throw exciting parties when you're not around and drink all of your booze. Okay, that last one is unlikely, but nobody hates icicles more than one Kentucky man who risked everything in his crusade against the clinging, frozen menace.

Not content to simply knock them down with a broom or a shovel, this unnamed homeowner terminated the icicles menace threatening his house with extreme prejudice. Extreme prejudice and a blow torch.

I think you can guess how this story turns out. Firefighters were called to the home to find smoke pouring from the roof of the home. They were able to extinguished the blaze, but not before the roof and attic, as well as a new addition to the home, were heavily damaged.

The homeowner told fire officials he was worried family members might be injured by icicles hanging from the roof of his home, so he used a blowtorch to melt them...and then promptly left home to run errands.

"He was concerned about the icicles and the ice causing damage to his home and/or anybody walking under it - his kids or anyone - if they fall," said Lt. Col. Rick Harrison. "Obviously, you want to remove them as safely as you can. Breaking them off is what most people do. Choosing to use a torch to melt them, in hindsight, he probably agrees is not the best idea."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Man pretends to be mayor and fools town --*
A man fooled a town in England into think he was their mayor by setting up a fake Twitter account. A man going by James Billington created the Twitter handle @mayorofStafford with a bio saying he's, "delighted to be representing the town of Stafford & surrounding areas." He sent his first tweet on March 8 and the people of Stafford quickly bought into it. Billington staged a ribbon-cutting at a local theme park and even passed around, "I'm the mayor of Stafford!" buttons. The Stafford town council caught on to the hoax and asked Twitter to shut the account down. Honoured to open @altontowers for their 2014 season today! #OpeningWeekend #staffordshirehour #Staffordshire pic.twitter.com/0kMNExRRpr- Mayor of Stafford (@mayorofstafford) March 22, 2014. The real mayor is Angela Loughran and people were feeling a bit foolish for being duped. "I feel so stupid, I believed [James Billington was mayor.] How many people know the name of their town mayor? there was no reason to disbelieve him," said Stafford resident Bal Singh. The Twitter account is still active and tweeting his imaginary mayoral duties.


*-- Man swallows fork after drunken bet --*
A Romanian man went to the hospital complaining of pain in his esophagus after he swallowed a fork on a drunken bet. Radu Kalincesku, 25, didn't tell doctors why he was experiencing the pain but when doctors did an X-ray, they found the utensil lodged in his esophagus. Kalincesku explained that he was drunk when he bet his friends that he could swallow a fork without any consequences. The doctors decided not to operate and instead sent the man home with hopes that the fork would be expelled from his body through natural processes. Doctors say they will operate if the fork becomes lodged in the man's digestive tract.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
careful Lewis. sounds to me that Michael would like to suck your toes. I mean I love you too, think you are so funny (even hilarious), and oh so smart, but I'm not going to tell you and give you a big head...
[Hmmm...I could use some big head.]

Perhaps the people in New York were mistaking their politician for a clown. Most of our elected legislators are clowns anyhow. -Harry
[Hey! Let's not cast any aspersions on all of the honest, hard working clowns out there by comparing them to politicians.]

Missed your responses to readers comments. Saw several places where your wit could be useful! -Patty

The correct legal term is "petty theft," not "petit theft!" Though maybe it's "petit" in Florida. -R.S.

Hi Lewis, Come on, you can do better than this. "A man who was allegedly attempting to steal panties, towels and other laundry items was arrested and charged with burglary and petit theft". It's 'petty' theft, not 'petit' theft. Sergeant Mick, Grammar Police
[Thanks for all the corrections. Not to be too picky about it, but they are pretty much the same word.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS