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Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
If there is one thing God hates, it's dancing. Ask the
Wisconsin man who was accused of repeatedly shocking a male
dance instructor with a stun gun, claiming the instructor
was a "sinner" who "defiles married women."
A Dane County prosecutor said the 59-year-old suspect, at
first thought to be John Lithgow, hastily arranged a dance
lesson at the instructor's Madison home and showed up with
a stun gun and sledgehammer.
The criminal complaint said the man told a detective that his
church does not condone touching while dancing and that he
was going to scare the instructor "and tell him to leave the
women alone."
The Wisconsin State Journal said the instructor told police
that the suspect phoned for private dance lessons, and when
he opened the door to his home, he began to shock him
repeatedly in the neck with the stun gun.
If our Lord wasn't testing us, how would you account for the
proliferation these days of this obscene rock and roll music,
with its gospel of easy sexuality and relaxed morality?
Kevin Bacon was unavailable for comment.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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--------- Man builds 625-square-foot snow house ---------
CHARDON, Ohio - An Ohio man said he is putting the finish-
ing touches on his winter project: a 625-square-foot snow
castle built in the front yard of his family's home. Jimmy
Grey, 25, of the Chardon area in Geauga County, said the
25-foot-by-25-foot structure, which boasts four rooms, a
flat-screen TV, a surround-sound system, strobe lights and
beer that never goes warm, was a project born out of a
desire to keep busy after losing his job last spring, The
Plain Dealer newspaper in Cleveland reported Monday. Grey
said he started the project after an early January snow-
storm using snow collected from his neighborhood and soon
found himself enlisting friends to help truck snow in from
around the area. The man said the luxury igloo, which uses
electricity from his garage and cable TV from his house,
hosts get-togethers a few nights a week and will likely
remain a monument to his winter well into the warm months.
"To be honest," Grey's father, Jim Sr., said, "I'll be
surprised if it's gone by the Fourth of July."
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---------------- Baby walks at 6 months -----------------
CAMBRIDGE, England - Doctors said the case of a British
baby who learned to walk unaided at just 6 months is
"extremely uncommon." Mary King, 30, and her husband
David, 27, of Cambridge, England, said their first child,
Xavier, amazed them when he began sitting up on his own
at 3 months and only further shocked them when he stood up
and started walking distances of up to 6 feet on his own
in January, when he was 6 months old, The Daily Telegraph
reported. "Xavier is more advanced than most babies his
age. It was just amazing when he got up and started putting
one leg in front of the other," King said. "The only
problem now is that I can't leave him alone so have had
to buy a play pen so he doesn't get into any mischief."
Dr. Martin Ward Platt, consultant pediatrician at Royal
Victoria Infirmary in Newcastle, England, said it is rare
for babies to start walking so young. "To be quite so
precocious with your walking is extremely uncommon, but...
it will happen from time to time," he said. "For his
parents, having to cope with a much more mobile child much
earlier than expected simply brings forward the moment you
need eyes in the back of your head."
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, Canada will never invade the U.S. They like their
beer a lot more than they like ours. -Dave
[Of course...here Moosehead is a felony.]
Lewis, Zamboni technology comes from the far northern
reaches of... Los Angeles. First one was made by a guy
named Zamboni to use on the family skating rink. -Ed
Hi Lewis, I felt I had to set the record straightish. The
story on "Man 'Stink Bombs' Wal-Mart" just can't be true.
There's no way there were only 75 people in a Wal-Mart
just after noon on a Sunday. -Tony
Lewis: I've enjoyed your e-mails, but lately you seem to
be descending into the gutter. There is a tremendous amount
of funny stuff in life, and so it makes me wonder why your
column now contains so much gutter humor: adultery, sex body
excretions, fornication, etc. Why can't you keep it clean?
-Regards from Joe Dsida
[This isn't Funny News, it's Bizarre News, and if there is
anything more bizarre than sex (and all of the problems it
causes) I haven't run across it yet. Fortunately sex is also
frequently very funny!]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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