--- > Follow Your Favorite Editors On Twitter < ---
http://www.gophertweets.com/
------------------------------------------------------------
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
What do they do for fun in Canada? Get trapped on ice floes
and kill polar bears, apparently. A teen and his 67-year-old
uncle had gone out polar bear hunting last week. The snow-
mobile the pair were riding broke down approximately 18
kilometres from Coral Harbour, a tiny community on Nunavut's
Southampton Island in the northern part of Hudson Bay.
As they walked towards the community to get help, they became
separated. A large chunk of ice broke off, setting the teen
adrift.
The uncle was eventually picked up by searchers on snowmobiles.
His nephew, meanwhile, remained lost.
Sometime between Saturday and Sunday, the teen, who was armed
with a rifle, encountered three bears, likely a female and two
older cubs, on the same large ice pan.
One bear, likely the adult, simply got too close.
"He did have to shoot the polar bear to protect himself," said
Ed Zebedee, director of the Government of Nunavut's protection
services. "There were two other bears on the ice pan but they
stayed away from him so he didn't shoot at them at all."
On Monday morning, the crew on board the military search-and-
rescue aircraft spotted the youth, who had drifted about 34
kilometres from where the snowmobile had broken down.
Two search-and-rescue technicians parachuted to a larger ice
floe a short distance away to mount their rescue attempt.
The teenager was taken into the local health center and was
reported to be in good condition after spending a few days
out in the cold with no supplies.
So what did you do with your weekend?
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
http://bizarrenews.gophercentral.com
------------------------------------------------------------
+----------- Bizarre Stories From the News --------------+
* An Alaskan assemblyman authored legislation to punish
"public flatulence, crepitation, gaseous emission, and
miasmic effluence," with a $100 penalty.
* Firefighters in Thurston, Washington slept through a
fire in their own station. A passing police officer
noticed the blaze and called in the alarm.
* In 1986, firefighters used wire cutters and pliers to
free a San Jose, California woman from a tight pair of
designer jeans.
* In the 1988 Massachusetts Democratic primary, Herbert
Connolly dashed from a late campaign appearance to the
polling place to cast his ballot. He got there fifteen
minutes late, and lost his seat on the Governor's
council. The final tally: 14,716 to 14,715.
* The Internal Revenue Service fined George Wittmeier
$159.78 for not paying all of his taxes. He was a penny
short on his return.
***
--------- Graffiti artist 'ran out of purple' -----------
PALM BAY, Fla. - Police in Florida said a graffiti artist
left an apology -- not for the crime of vandalism, but
for an artistic infraction: "Ran out of purple." Palm Bay
police said the message was found scrawled next to a costly
yet apparently unfinished purple tagging reading "Solo,"
Florida Today reported. Officer Dan Fisher said the
graffiti caused about $200 worth of damage to the build-
ing. He said the perpetrator could face a criminal mischief
charge if arrested and charged.
------------------------------------------------------------
YOUR VIDEO SNACK BAR
Top Viewed Videos...
1. Marine Silent Marching
http://c.gophercentral.com/rO13
2. Man's Best Friend
http://c.gophercentral.com/2TYQ
3. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up
http://c.gophercentral.com/49A3
4. Amos N´ Andy - In the IRS Office
http://c.gophercentral.com/iZUQ
5. The Muppets
http://c.gophercentral.com/sVqB
6. The Stones
http://c.gophercentral.com/XLr8
------------------------------------------------------------
-------- Study: Swearing may help pain tolerance ----------
NEWCASTLE-UNDER-LYME, England - A British researcher said
his study indicates using swear words increases a person's
tolerance for pain. Richard Stephens of England's Keele
University said he compared the pain tolerance of 67
students of both sexes when they each dropped a hand into
ice-cold water, the Boston Globe reported Monday. Stephens
said most of the subjects found their pain tolerances
increased when they were allowed to exclaim swear words as
opposed to neutral language. "It seems to (work) via the
emotional content of swearing -- people appear to shock
themselves into a state of emotional arousal (the fight or
flight response), which is known to have a pain-lessening
effect," Stephens said. Stephens said he doesn't see why
people in pain shouldn't swear. "What's the harm in swear-
ing if it helps you cope? Provided there are no children
around, of course," he said.
------------------------------------------------------------
SUPER SIZE SHAMMIE
Made In Germany, Don't Be Fooled By Others...
Retail Price: $9.99
DEAL PRICE: $2.99
Get two for $4.98
Now is the time to get this FULL SIZED SHAMMIE for just
$2.99. Made in Germany don't be fooled by others on the
market that just don't do the job AND are more than triple
the price!
Like on TV, this Super Size Shammie Absorbs 50% than
natural chamois. It's extra large size of 27 x 17 can be
cut in half for smaller jobs. Durable enough for just
about any task, but soft and gentle enough for use on any
surface.
It's the PERFECT cleaning cloth and has hundreds of house-
hold uses: floors, countertops, appliances, furniture
windows, pets and more. Perfect for washing car or boat,
too! Like on TV, this soft, absorbent and non-abrasive
cloth is 100% polyester and will not scratch or damage any
surface. Best of all... it's reusable! Just machine wash-
able... but do not tumble dry.
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/3961/c/120/a/499
------------------------------------------------------------
------------ Loud lovemaking irks neighbors -------------
SUNDERLAND, England - A British couple are appealing their
conviction for breaching a noise abatement notice related
to their loud lovemaking sessions. The order had banned
Caroline and Steve Cartwright of Sunderland, England, from
"shouting, screaming or vocalization at such a level as to
be a statutory nuisance," after repeated complaints from
neighbors, a mail carrier and parents walking children to
school past their building, The Sun reported. Caroline
Cartwright said the order is a violation of Article 8 of
the Human Rights Act, which she said gives her the right
to "respect for her private and family life." She said a
sexual psychologist will testify that she can't stop her-
self from making the noises during sexual activity. Pamela
Spark an environmental health manager with Sunderland
City Council, said she visited the road outside of the
Cartwrights' apartment and took notes on what she heard.
She described the sounds as "hysterical, almost continuous,
just screaming."
------------------------------------------------------------
Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E!
http://pd.gophercentral.com/u/14380/c/120/a/499
------------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Our local news paper had, what I would consider, a bizarre
news article. "Five correctional officers charged in dog
fondling. Five Virginia Department of Corrections officers
have been charged with animal cruelty involving the fondling
of a K-9 dog and videotaping the two incidents. All five
officers were training at the Academy for Staff Development
in Goochland County to become K-9 handlers." -Sandra
[I'd say they're already pretty good "K-9 handlers."]
Arrrrggghhhh! Arrrggghh arrrrggghhh arrrggghhhh? Arrrggh.
Arrrgggghhhhhhhh! Or what you don't speak pirate? -TJ
As to the reader asking for pictures of Mrs. Vossough, he
hasn't tried searching. I did and came across several sites
some with before and after pictures. The search engine is
your friend.
[Yes, and several readers sent me some pics. Call me old
fashioned, but I prefer natural Bs to frankensteinian Fs.]
Lewis, in todays issue you said, quote: "I sort of like
herpes"....really now? You are stranger than I thought.
-Maygyver
[Thank you to the typo police.]
The woman needs a better lawyer. The woman that spilled
coffee on herself recieved $2.4 mill. Pissing on one self
must be low on the pay off pole. -Teddy, Kenai, Alaska
[Depends on how kinky you are.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com