Bizarre News - March 25, 2015

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

When they say that job opportunities for young people are drying up, they are almost never talking about the adult entertainment industry. Particularly prostitution. While prostitution is only legal in a very small part of the U.S., in other parts of the world it is much more widely accepted and main stream. Germany, for example, where legalized prostitution is such an industry, brothels are now advertising for quality control testers to check the standards of their services.

That's right; professional 'johns'.

The brothel in the German capital Berlin is looking for both men and women to check quality, cleanliness, and safe sex practices - and to see that their brothels offer value for money.

According to the advertisement the job is for an international company with more than 120 workers in Germany, China and Spain. The ad claims to want people with a university degree, preferably a degree in business, experience with brothels, and a full health certificate.

The ad says: "Practical experience with many years of brothel visits necessary. You should enjoy having fun with people and you should not be afraid of contact."

So suddenly that week you spent in Amsterdam doesn't seem like such a life mistake. So what do you think; would you work as a hooker tester?

Bizarrely,
Lewis

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Just click GopherArchives

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


* CCTV catches restaurant fraudster releasing rat *
SUNDERLAND, England (UPI) - Security camera footage from a British restaurant recorded the moment a man set his pet rat on the ground in an attempt to scam a free meal. Christopher Baker, 28, pleaded guilty in Sunderland Magistrates' Court to a charge of fraud by false representation after he released his pet rat at the Borneo Bistro in Sunderland, England, on Valentine's Day and demanded a refund for his meal. Kevin Smith, the restaurant's owner, said he reviewed security footage after noticing the black and white rat seemed suspiciously clean and tame. "Mr. Smith perhaps smelled a rat at this particular point and he retrieved the rat from the floor. It was a black and white rat, very calm. It did not appear to be wild at all. Acorn Pest Control attended and they said it appeared to be a pet," prosecutor Lee Poppett said. "Mr. Smith viewed the CCTV and saw the defendant fiddling in his pocket. He waited until a family moved from the table next to him and retrieved what appeared to be a rat from his pocket and dropped it on the floor. He then jumped out of his seat." The court heard Baker later told police the rat was a gift for his daughter and had bitten his finger and escaped his pocket accidentally. Smith had harsh words for Baker after the trial. "He is just the scum of the earth," Smith told the Sunderland Echo. "He could have destroyed the reputation I have built up over seven years. I was devastated. I thought 'that's it my business is gone.' I didn't sleep that night." "People like him deserve the death penalty. As far as I'm concerned, he shouldn't be in our society," Smith said. "He is no use to anybody and he's caused nothing but grief. I find it unbelievable that someone could be willing to go to those lengths for a free meal."


*-- Man says tattoo of ex-girlfriend's name, "ISIS," got him fired from Home Depot --*
NEW YORK (UPI) - A former Home Depot employee says the company fired him over a tattoo of his ex-girlfriend's name -- "Isis," a name derived from a fabled Egyptian goddess. The letters of the inner-lip tattoo are written in capitalized form -- "ISIS" -- giving it the exact spelling of an acronym used to reference the Islamic State, also known as the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria, a terrorist army of Sunni Muslim extremists who seized large swaths of land last year and publicized several beheadings of Westerners. "I honestly didn't know what the acronym meant until just recently," Kirk Soccorsco told CNN affiliate News 12 Long Island. While working as a Home Depot tool demonstrator in Patchogue, N.Y., Soccorsco said, he overheard the term during a conversation and showed his tattoo to a co-worker. Home Depot and the Florida marketing firm that paid Soccorsco fired him soon after. Soccorsco said both entities told him not to return to the store. Home Depot spokesman Stephen Holmes told News 12 that the termination was "a personnel matter and the decision wasn't just based on the tattoo." Soccorsco contends that he is not a terrorist and that he got the tattoo four years ago. He said he is no longer with the woman whose name is depicted. "I feel a little lost," he said. "It was a good-paying job." Soccorsco is reportedly considering legal action against Home Depot.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Hey Lewis! This story was in the Seattle Times. A man in North Bend was holding his wife at gunpoint, and she managed to call 911. The police negotiated the wife's release, but they got fed up after several more hours went by and the man still didn't come out. The police tossed in gas and a stun grenade. The man ran out with his loaded gun in his hand, tripped and shot himself in the chest. When he gets out of the hospital, he will go directly to jail. If his mother ever told him that he shouldn't run with scissors, she probably should have told him not to run with a loaded gun, too. -Jody
[Maybe if he were running with scissors he would have saved everybody a lot of time and money and finished himself off.]

Who is the liberal that thinks a guy surrounded by 20 or more people breaking his windows and not knowing what or how much damage they are going to do to him "could have handled it better"?
[He should have had the insight to install shatter-proof windows, I suppose.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
***
Missed an Issue? Visit the Bizarre News Archives

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: LEWIS