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Saturday, November 6, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
I have to share this story I just read with you. I'm like
Indiana Jones when it comes to snakes. I just can't handle
them...and when I read this it totally freaked me out.
A St. Petersburg, Florida man received a rude awakening
earlier this week when he lifted the lid on his toilet and
found a snake curled inside, with its head sticking out of
the bowl!
It turns out the slippery stow-away was a 6-foot African
rock python. Experts said the serpent is just a baby, as
African rock pythons get as big as 20 feet long or longer.
The man even called his boss and told him he'd be late
because he'd had to wrestle a snake out of his toilet. His
boss joked he would need a better excuse than that. So he
brought the snake into work with him.
You don't get to use an excuse like that every day!
So for the last four days I've been checking the toilet
religiously every time I go into the bathroom. The wife
thinks I'm nuts since it's almost winter here in the
Chicago area. But you only have to be wrong once!
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+----------- More Bizarre November Holidays ------------+
November 11 is Air Day
November 12 is National Pizza With The Works Except
Anchovies Day
November 13 is National Indian Pudding Day
November 14 is Operation Room Nurse Day
November 15 is National Clean Out Your Refrigerator Day
November 16 is Button Day
November 17 is Take A Hike Day
November 18 is Occult Day
November 19 is Have A Bad Day Day
November 20 is Absurdity Day
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----------- Drunk suspect dressed as breath test -----------
LINCOLN, Neb. - Police in Nebraska said they cited a
drunken driving suspect who was dressed as a Breathalyzer
for a Halloween party. Lincoln police said Matthew Nieveen,
19, received citations for second-offense driving under the
influence, being a minor in possession of alcohol, an open
container violation and negligent driving after he was
pulled over early Monday while on his way home from a
party, the Lincoln Journal Star reported Thursday. Officers
said Nieveen, who was dressed as an alcohol breath tester,
had slurred speech and had a bottle of vodka, several cans
of beer and a half-full bottle of vodka mixed with Mountain
Dew in the trunk of his 1992 Ford F-150. Nieveen's blood
alcohol content was measured at more than twice the .08
legal limit for driving, police said.
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------- 'Groucho' record attempt at football game -------
STATESVILLE, N.C. - A North Carolina restaurant said
it will attempt to break a Guinness World Record by
distributing Groucho Marx glasses at a high school
football game. Brandon Sutton, owner of Groucho's Deli,
said workers will hand out 5,500 pairs of Groucho
glasses Friday at the Statesville High School football
game against West Iredell, The Charlotte (N.C.) Observer
reported Thursday. Sutton said he is aiming to set a
Guinness World Record for "most people wearing Groucho
Marx glasses." The owner said photographs and videos
will be taken of the halftime record attempt and official
Guinness counters will be placed at the entrances.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
The way Clinton did it was easy. He let the Republicans in
congress and the senate do it. After all budgets are their
job. Just to show that he was smart he vetoed the budget
because it wasn't "balanced enough." And that pretty much
made him a two term president. Interestingly failed health
care and a bunch of other unpopular bills that failed in
his first two years almost skewered him. It will be most
interesting to see where Obama goes after Nov 2nd. Will
he do a 180 like Clinton or go down in flames like Jimmy
Carter. Only time will tell. -John
When a reader sends a comment all typed in capital letters,
it's like someone is right in your face - screaming at you.
Don't you hate that? I've had enough of that in my life
without having some idiot scream at me from the computer
screen too.
[I really don't pay that much attention. I guess if every-
body did it, it would get annoying, but most people don't.]
Did you forget that Clinton vetoed a Republican budget, shut
down the Government for two weeks and then blamed the
Republicans for the shutdown. When the surplus surprisingly
showed up 'of course' Bill claimed the credit! -John
Hi Lewis, Just wanted to say I love your column and wish it
was still 3 days a week. However, I am sad it has turned
into a political commentary. I come here expecting laughs
and I have to hear the same junk I hear on tv and the regular
newspapers. Hey, readers, this is supposed to be fun, knock
it off. -Patti
[You heard her, Bizarros!]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
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