Bizarre News - May 14, 2014

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You would think, if you had a 12-foot python as a pet, that you would keep an eye on it, but apparently the conventions of pet ownership in Texas are a little more relaxed than elsewhere. Because just such a specimen managed to show up in the tub of a startled Central Texas woman.

Police believe the African python slipped into the house of Veronica Rodriguez when she left the back door open after bathing her three household guinea pigs and putting the critters in outdoor pens.

Rodriguez says she heard strange noises, returned to the bathroom and discovered the snake crawling into the tub. She called 911.

I didn't know guinea pigs needed baths, but if anything would attract a python I would imagine three of them splashing around in water would do it.

Animal control officers removed the snake, using a city trash can as a temporary receptacle for the reptile, after which it was returned to its owner.

No guinea pigs were harmed.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


*-- Woman hands police chief booze receipt instead of license during OUI stop --*
ARLINGTON, Mass. (UPI) - A 60-year-old Massachusetts woman was arrested for operating under the influence for the seventh time after she allegedly handed the police chief a liquor receipt instead of her driver's license during a traffic stop. Arlington Police Chief Frederick Ryan reportedly saw Brenda Drinkwater driving the wrong way through town while "another man was driving behind Drinkwater repeatedly honking his horn and yelling at her to stop," according to the Arlington Patch. Ryan also observed Drinkwater forcing cars off the road, so he pulled her over. "Approaching the car, the Chief asked Drinkwater for her license and registration, and she reached into her purse and handed him a credit card and a receipt from a liquor store for a bottle of vodka," police said in a statement. "The Chief then saw an open bottle of vodka on her passenger seat and could clearly smell the odor of liquor on her breath." When Drinkwater got out of her car, she was "extremely unsteady" and failed "a number of sobriety tests." In addition to the DUI charge, Drinkwater was also charged with operating negligently as to endanger, drinking from an open container while driving and failure to keep to the right.


*-- Woman charged with misuse of the 911 system after calling about pizza sauce --*
GASTONIA, N.C. (UPI) - A North Carolina woman was arrested and charged with misuse of the 911 system after she allegedly called emergency dispatchers because she was given a flatbread pizza that was made with marinara sauce instead of pizza sauce. Bevalente Hall allegedly called 911 after Subway employees wouldn't refund the money she paid for a "flatizza" pizza that was sauced incorrectly. "It's terrible, and I got my receipt," the 37-year-old says in the call. "And I told them I can't eat that kind of sauce." In the 911 call, Hall says she wants report the incident to investigators with Channel 9. "They made my mom another sandwich without a problem, but say they won't make me a sandwich," Hall said, the Gaston Gazette reported. Hall's husband told Channel 9 that his wife called 911 after being yelled at by an officer.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
"OK, next week is Jersey Day! What?!? You're not wearing our team's jersey? That is just wrong! We're cancelling Jersey Day and it's all your fault!" Now what are we teaching our kids? As long as you agree with us, feel free to make your own choices. Next year they'll progress to South American soccor fan mentality and fight in the stadiums with the opposing team and fans, that they invited to come and compete.

Hey Lewis, After reading all the comments about the Chinese and their cabbages I don't feel so silly about my pet rock now. -David
[You shouldn't...unless you put a leash on it and walk it.]

If this copy cat pooper were a decent guy he would not crap in the drive way. He would reserve his toilet problems for lawn and garden fertilization. The neighbors might even appreciate the shitty job he does!
[Oh, I'm sure. That's why you regularly crap in your own garden...right???]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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Send comments and questions to: LEWIS