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Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Do you remember the scene in the 1999 movie "Fight Club" when
the narrator is delayed at the airport because his luggage
was vibrating? The airport security guys tells the narrator
that nine times out of ten the vibration is caused by an
electric razor, but every once in a while it's a dildo.
If you thought that was just stupid movie crap, you'll be
interested to read this story.
It seems a California Highway Patrol office was briefly
evacuated earlier this month when investigators became
concerned that an arrestee might have been carrying a
concealed explosive device.
When officers collared Steven Ferrini on a drug charge,
a search of the 60-year-old suspect turned up "a suspicious
wire, with an on/off switch" in his pants pocket. So they
called in El Dorado County's "explosive ordinance disposal"
team and evacuated "all unnecessary personnel" from the
office.
The wire was found to extend from the pants pocket to the
subject's anus and was connected to a vibrator. The bomb
squad "rendered the device safe" and determined it was not
dangerous.
The vibrator was subsequently removed and placed into
property, hopefully after being washed or at least placed
in a plastic bag.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER:
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You can discuss this issue or any other topic in the
new Bizarre News forum. Check it out here...
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Watch as this angry man seeking revenge in an armored
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town while the police are helpless to stop him.
Watch It Now: http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=16801
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---------- George Washington owes library fines ----------
NEW YORK - A New York library said George Washington, the
first president of the United States, owes $300,000 in
late fees for two books he never returned. The New York
Society Library said President Washington visited the
facility Oct. 5, 1789, and borrowed international relations
treatise "Law of Nations" and Vol. 12 of the British
Parliament transcript series "Commons Debates," the New
York Daily News reported Monday. Officials said the
books, which were due Nov. 2 of that same year, have been
compiling late fees of a few pennies a day ever since.
"We're not actively pursuing the overdue fines," head
librarian Mark Bartlett joked. "But we would be very happy
if we were able to get the books back."
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------- License revoked for drunk Barbie car drive -------
JAYWICK, England - A British man banned from driving for
four years for drunkenly driving a battery-powered Barbie
toy car admitted he had acted like "a twit." Paul Hutton,
40, said he found the toy car, designed for 3-to-5-year-
olds, abandoned about a year ago and he has been working
on it at his Jaywick, England, home for about a year with
his 17-year-old son, the Colchester Gazette reported.
Hutton said he had been drinking while working on the toy
the day of his arrest and decided to take it for a spin.
"The police pulled up and asked if I was all right," Hutton
said. "I'd had a few drinks but I felt fine. I hadn't
spoken to anyone all day -- then I found out I couldn't
talk. "I was very surprised to get done for drink-driving,
but I was a twit to say the least," he said. Hutton was
sentenced to a 12-month conditional discharge. His driver's
license was suspended for three years. The Barbie car runs
on a 12-volt battery and has a top speed of about 4 mph.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, Major cities like Miami, Chicago, New York and
Boston have had dead people voting for ages. It is only
proper that they have a duly elected spokesperson to
embody their position. Regards, Larry
[And zombies and vampires, too.]
Lewis, we have the epitome of Bizarre News: I'm weird,
my roommate is strange, and my sister's boyfriend is
stupid. -Ken
[You should write some of your adventures down for me,
maybe you'll see them in Bizarre News.]
Hey Lewis! If that volcano in Iceland don't pipe down
we'll all be traveling around the globe like the intrepid
Mr. Lewis. By the way, He's not A relation of yours? We
don't know if Lewis is your first or last name now, do we?
-H.R.
[Lewis is an anagram for my real name in order to preserve
my secret identity.]
As for the baby and the cobra, the family does snake
handling for the tourists. The snake is defanged and the
baby is in no danger. There is only 1 fear we are born
with - loud noises. All others are learned. They are
acclimating the baby to snakes now so he is not afraid
of them later. -James
[I think I'd rather just let my kids be afraid of snakes.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
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Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com
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