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Saturday, March 27, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Sure, in the United States we have law suits when teenage
lesbians aren't allowed to take each other to the high
school prom, but in Great Britain the education system
is so screwed up they have torturing children down to a
science.
On the one hand you have the story of a five-year-old
kindergartener who climbed a tree in his school yard and
refused to come down. Due to the school's strict health
and safety policy the teachers were prohibited from helping
him down.
Instead, staff followed guidelines and retreated inside the
school building to "observe from a distance" so the child
would not get "distracted and fall".
It took 45 minutes before a passer-by noticed the child in
the tree and helped him down. And for her trouble the head
teacher of the school reported her to the police for tres-
passing.
Meanwhile, at the middle school level, health and safety
policy apparently dictates that the school should emotionally
and psychologically torture the students.
An "exercise" at a middle school in Worcestershire began
when pupils heard that there was a gun in the school. Five
minutes later the alarm bell sounded and more than 300 were
sent outside and saw three teachers running across the field.
They saw a "gunman" in the distance and heard what sounded
like gunfire before seeing one of the teachers fall to the
ground. Colleagues appeared to attempt to resuscitate him.
It was all part of a big role-playing scenario designed to
teach the children about forensic science, but by the time
teachers got the kids all back in the school's auditorium
to explain everything, many of them were already frightened,
crying and some even getting sick in the bathrooms.
Which is ridiculous! Why should witnessing a brutal murder
frighten ten and eleven-year-olds to the point of being sick?
Anyway, parents complained, understandably, and in response
the school promised that in the future they will tone down
their mock murders. So it's all taken care of!
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER:
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+--------- Bizarre Video - Tarantulas For Dinner ----------+
This clip is a nifty how-to guide to preparing tarantula
tampura. All the instructions you need are here, including:
cooking, burning the hair off, and of course, how to eat
them properly.
Watch It Now: http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=5260
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-------- Prison warns convict over fart 'attacks' --------
MALMO, Sweden - The warden of a Swedish jail said a
prisoner received an official warning for using flatulence
to express his discontent about his situation. Anders
Eriksson, warden of the Kirseberg prison in Malmo, said
guards filed numerous complaints against the 21-year-old
prisoner, whose name was not reported, alleging "a series
of concerted attacks" in the form of constant wind-break-
ing, Britain's The Daily Telegraph reported. "I have worked
within the prisons and probation service since 1986 and I
have never experienced a situation where behavior of this
sort has led to punishment," Eriksson said in an interview
with Sweden's Metro newspaper. Authorities said the
prisoner offered an explanation for his behavior. "I had
an upset stomach while I was playing cards but did not
want to fart there. So I went over to the guards instead,"
he was quoted as saying. The prisoner was issued an
official warning and could face punishment for any future
attacks of intentional flatulence, Eriksson said.
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---------- Teenage suspect: 'Don't tell my mom' ----------
SALT LAKE CITY - Police in Utah said a kitchen knife-
wielding teenager whose attempt to rob a store failed
ran off after asking a clerk not to call police or tell
his mother. Salt Lake City police said teen brought items
from the Maverik store to the counter and maneuvered to
behind the counter while the clerk was ringing up the
goods, KTVX-TV, Salt Lake City, reported. Police said the
suspect attempted to hold a kitchen knife to the clerk's
neck, but the worker turned around and knocked the teenager
to the floor. The clerk told police the teenager pleaded
with him before fleeing without the knife. "Don't call the
cops, I will pay," the suspect was quoted as saying,
"don't tell my mom." The worker told police the teenager
fled the scene on foot.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, I love Bizarre News and have been reading it for
longer than you have been writing it. If guys were allowed
to wait until the age of 21 to decide if they wanted to be
circumcised, how many do you think would have it done? I
think precious few. -Dave
[Medical science has proven that circumcision can
dramatically reduce the likelihood of certain diseases,
including some sexually transmitted diseases. So it's got
that going for it...which is nice.]
The saddest part of the overfishing is, when the tunas all
gone, they'll just blame some hapless country of stealing
all the fishies, and go to war over it. Until then, their
emotto is There'll always be more fish. That's what more
means.
[Nation's go to war over resources that are still there,
not over resources that are gone.]
Lewis, Here is one for your book... "FAIRFIELD, CT - Police
in Connecticut say they had ample warning of a bank robbery
because the two suspects called the bank ahead of time and
told an employee to get a bag of money ready." -Joe
[I tweeted this. To pick up a lot more Bizarre News in
between mailings go to http://twitter.com/MyBizarreNews and
'follow' me. It's free!]
Lewis at the last poll 82 percent of the nation was against
the Obama healthcare plan. Welcome to the S.S.A. (Socialistic
States of Amerika!) Here is a great quote by a great man that
applies, "Government's first duty is to protect the people,
not run their lives." -Ronald Reagan. Thanks, Justin
[The politicians themselves don't really know what this entire
bill entails. Now that it's passed we'll just have to wait
and see what the consequences are as all of the little codes
and rules are slowly put into place. When your insurance
policy renews will be the first test. What will your premiums
do?!]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
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