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Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Of all the things you could possibly want at your wedding
when money is no object; a 24 piece orchestra, a champagne
fountain at every table, a life-sized ice sculpture of the
bride and groom, the one thing you probably don't want is
a horny elephant.
Try telling that to the Indian couple who felt that several
5-ton, circus behemoths were just the thing to put the
finishing touch on their elegant nuptials.
Things apparently were going swimmingly until a male elephant
noticed one of the females was in heat.
And, as anybody who has observed drunks in a bar at closing
time can tell you, when it's time to plough the field the
niceties go out the window.
The elephant, one of three hired for the wedding reception
of two politicians' children in New Delhi, went on a rampage.
He charged a lawn full of wedding guests before flipping over
about 20 cars in a nearby parking lot.
It was finally brought under control by a tranquilizer around
six hours later, after ramming a police truck and causing
over $300,000 of damage in total.
Wildlife Trust of India said that the elephant was in "mast",
or rutting stage, which happens once a year. What timing.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+------------- More Bizarre March Holidays --------------+
March 11 is Johnny Appleseed Day & Worship of Tools Day
March 12 is Alfred Hitchcock Day
March 13 is Jewel Day
March 14 is National Potato Chip Day
March 15 is Buzzard's Day & Everything You Think Is Wrong
Day
March 16 is Everything You Do Is Right Day
March 17 is Submarine Day
March 18 is Supreme Sacrifice Day
March 19 is Poultry Day
March 20 is Proposal Day & Festival Of Extraterrestrial
Abductions Day
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------------ Cold War bunker for sale on eBay ------------
DERBY, England - Online bids for a British nuclear bunker
dating back to the Cold War era are approaching $30,000
on eBay. The underground bunker, constructed in 1959 as
a Royal Observer Corps post to monitor nuclear fallout,
is advertised on eBay as a "rare opportunity the acquire
a piece of Cold War history," The Telegraph on Sunday
reported. Bidding for the Derbyshire, England, bunker
reached $29,525 Monday after 39 bids. "The bunker is in
a perfect location on farmland and offers the freedom of
having your own land and bunker, but with the security of
being on private land which is fenced and securely gated,"
the auction's description reads. Bidding closes on the
property March 7.
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------------ Scuba smuggler spotted in sewer ------------
DOUGLAS, Ariz. - U.S. Border Patrol officials in Arizona
said someone outfitted in scuba gear was spotted in a
sewer along the U.S.-Mexico border with two bundles of
marijuana. The Border Patrol Douglas Station said a bike
patrol was dispatched to a sewer outlet Friday after
infrared cameras picked up signs of people illegally
crossing into the United States from Mexico, The Arizona
Republic reported. The agents said the bike patrol spotted
someone in scuba gear wading through waist-high water with
two bundles of marijuana. The person dropped the bundles
and turned back toward Mexico upon seeing the agents,
spokesman Omar Candelaria said. The bundles, containing
55 pounds of marijuana, were recovered by the agents.
However, Candelaria said the smuggler evaded capture.
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Hi Lewis! I've been reading for a while now, so I'm thrilled
at the chance to contribute. -dragonmum "A southeast
Missouri man faces drug charges after catching clothing
around his crotch on fire, allegedly while using the shake-
and-bake method to make methamphetamine. Witnesses told
police they saw a man get out of his vehicle with a bottle
on fire and flames in the area of his crotch. He ran toward
a trash bin, poured out the contents, threw out the bottle
and fled."
Lewis, Regarding the drunk driver driving off with the gas
nozzle and hose still attached, I actually saw this happen
one time and the driver wasn't drunk - just forgetful and
in a hurry. Some kid in a convertible Chevy started driving
out of a 7-11 gas station and left the nozzle and hose still
in and it popped off at special disconnect clamps installed
on every new gas hose. -James
[I have never done this, or know anyone who has done this,
but apparently it's pretty common.]
Lewis is this comment about "...being a pompous Spanish
peacock." an attempt at humor lewis, because it failed if
it was. love your ezine! -Dustin
[Nope...it was an attempt at referencing the movie "High-
lander" thereby making me look clever, which apparently has
failed miserably.]
ENJOY YOUR FUCKING RAG!!! A fan, Rosanne
[Sorry, Rosanne, but our fucking rag was called Great
Sexpectations and We just recently canceled that.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
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