Saturday, July 21, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

If your nickname in college was Tripod you might have trouble getting through the airport. If you have to have your pants specially made to allow for extra room in the crotch you should probably allow a little extra time to get through security. I'm just saying that if you can carry a half dozen donuts without using your hands you can expect some extra attention from the TSA.

You would think that Jonah Falcon would already know this, since he has lived with his condition his entire life, but the 41-year-old still made the news when he was questioned by security at a San Francisco airport for a bulge in his pants that turned out to be his unusually large penis.

Falcon, who has been featured in multiple documentaries about unusually large penises, said he was preparing to depart San Francisco International Airport to return to New York when he was stopped by Transportation Security Administration agents who noticed an unusual bulge in his pants.

"They wanted to know if I had something in my pockets, and when I said no, they asked if I had some sort of growth," he said.

I guess you could say that it is some sort of growth.

Falcon said he was patted down and the agents "checked the area around it" but didn't frisk his genitals too harshly. Falcon, whose penis measures 9 1/2 inches while flaccid and 13 1/2 inches when erect, said the incident was mostly amusing.

"It was probably harder on them than it was on me," Falcon said of the TSA agents.

Some stories just write themselves.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Bistro staffed by recovering addicts --*
WEST PALM BEACH, Fla. - A Florida psychiatrist said the restaurant he opened in May is staffed by former drug addicts and psychiatric patients. Dr. Robert Moran, 49, of West Palm Beach, said he opened Moran's Italian Burger Bistro as a component of his nearby Wellington Retreat treatment clinic in May and 14 of the 36 employees are patients at the clinic, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Friday. "It occurred to me that we were missing something in our program, and that was the occupational piece," Moran said. "The environment out there wasn't cooperating, so we created our own environment." General Manager Troy Sheller, who suffered from addiction in his youth, said the restaurant gives extra chances to workers who backslide. "Most restaurants, a lot of people would have been fired," Sheller said. "But I give them second and third chances." Sheller said he starts job interviews by asking, "What was your drug of choice, and how long have you been clean?" "I've seen grown men cry; the wall goes down immediately," Sheller said. "In most interviews they have to hide that stuff."

*-- Torch carrier now carries a spelling error --*
ATLANTA - A U.S. woman celebrated her role in the London Olympic Torch relay with a tattoo, only to discover her arm now reads "Oylmpic Torch Bearer 2012," she said. Jerri Peterson, 54, of Atlanta, Ga., carried the torch through Derby, England, June 30 after she was one of 70 people nominated for the honor by her employer, a hotel chain, for her years of charity work, the BBC reported Thursday. Returning to America she decided to commemorate the honor with her first tattoo, but the artist misspelled a crucial word. "I looked at it was so disappointed. I called my husband and he giggled a little bit. Then I started laughing about it and I've been laughing ever since," she said of the discovery. Peterson said the artist "felt so bad when he found out. He wanted to fix it but I decided to keep it. It's the Oy-lmpics. It's a unique as I am."

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
In Canada the moronic supreme court decided that as a free speech right you can place signs anywhere. So I can place a sign on your front lawn advertising my business. I can place signs advertising political causes you don't agree with on your front lawn. That is what you get when you put unelected judges with ultimate power over the law instead of our elected political leaders. -John
[What is the law about starting small fires on your property?]

I refuse to live anywhere an HOA has any authority. They are mini-dictatorships whose egos are on steroids. As for the Pizza Hut burglar, he used a crowbar to break through the door, but didn't try using it to pry open the cash register?? Does he even know what a crowbar's purpose is? -Wendy

I would say those neighbors need to be turned in for violating the water restrictions. -catt
[That is what is known as a no-win situation. At that point the only solution is to move (or burn your house down and collect the insurance).]

I've seen this before. All she has to do is paint the grass with non-toxic water based paint. I would do the whole yard as it will all turn brown until the drought ends. -Scott

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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