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Saturday, June 4, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

A couple was arrested on a charge of theft after allegedly stealing nearly $200,000 from their boss and using the money to buy lottery tickets, according to police in Pennsylvania.

Cressona police said that they have arrested 51-year-old Joan Lechleitner and her fiance, 54-year-old Kerry Titus, who are employees of the Agway grocery store, after being accused of stealing $175,000 from the store before winning more than $200,000 by buying a winning lottery ticket from the same store.

The couple was charged with theft, conspiracy and records tampering.

According to the police investigation, the couple along with two other employees stole from the Agway store over a period of five years.

The employees used the stolen money to buy lottery tickets from the store, including the ticket that won more than $1 million.

Lechleitner won a total of $261,904.50.

After having financial difficulties, the store owner installed hidden cameras, which captured the suspects stealing money and buying lottery tickets.


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*----- Beer: Is There Anything It Can't Do? -----*

A can of beer helped a Seattle camper extinguish a tent fire that local police believe may have been the result of arson. According to the Seattle Police Department, a man called 911 to report that his tent had been set on fire while he and another person were inside sleeping. The man awoke to find his tent on fire and quickly reached for a can of beer that he had nearby to extinguish the flames. He told police that he had been playing cards with a group of men nearby when one of them accused the man of cheating and threatened to burn down his tent. Neither victim was injured in the fire and officers were unable to identify any witnesses of arson.


*----- If Women Can Do It To Their Breasts -----*

It's called a Scrotal Uplift or a Scrotoplasty, and it's exactly what you probably think it is; a sign of the decline of western civilization. In the past such procedures were almost exclusively performed to correct abnormalities or to restore the scrotum to its normal self after injury or cancer, but now this intimate procedure is being performed for purely aesthetic reasons. Men are now worried their balls have gone a bit loose at the seams. The procedure itself is minimally invasive: excess skin is removed and the joins are positioned where natural grooves form up to the scrotal 'seam' so as to minimize any scar visibility. The whole thing takes around an hour and is performed under local anaesthetic. All you need is a lot of insecurity and a lot of money. The procedure is not covered by insurance.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

LEWIS; Sure, everybody blames the parents of that 4 year old boy for being briefly distracted while their child climbed into that gorilla enclosure where a gorilla had to be killed to save the child from harm or even possible death. But what about the zoo's management failing to erect a fence or barrier that a small child wouldn't be able to climb into or over? I bet many of the folks currently "filleting the parents on social media" would themselves be contacting lawyers for big money lawsuits if that had been their child. -R.S.
[The first rule is: hire a lawyer and find somebody to sue, whether it is your fault or not. That's the American way.]

Lewis: about the girl that went to the prom and swallowed a pin. I wonder if that was the only thing that she put in her mouth!!
[Thanks for re-hashing my joke.]

Lewis, Thanks for being a voice of reason regarding Harambe, the gorilla in Cincinnati. There's plenty of blame to go around, but for what? Parents need to keep track of their kids, too many two legged predators in the world. That said, I've known kids who are 'runners' too. Zoo enclosures are designed to keep animals away from people, but not the other way around. I question a barrier that a 3 year old climb over. Tragedy happens every day. And, it sucks. Thanks for the BN. -Doug

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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