Saturday, December 3, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Traffic cops and meter maids write tickets. That's what they do. That's their job. They don't fool around with, say, building code enforcement. You don't see traffic cops fighting fires.

So when an SUV was parked on the street just blocks from the Broward County Courthouse in Florida for four days, city parking officers did what they were supposed to; slap ticket after ticket on the windshield.

Eventually, a curious citizen named Carolyn White who noticed the pile of citations did what officers couldn't be bothered to do. She looking through the windshield.

What she found was the body of deceased Jacob Morpeau.

"Oh my God, please tell me this man isn't dead," White thought.

He was sitting in the driver's seat, and his upper body lay face down over the SUV's center console.

The SUV was issued tickets from Nov. 12 through Nov. 15. Two of the tickets were written within three minutes, and just six hours before White saw Morpeau's body inside the SUV.

White said, "I was being nosy. I never let the meter man catch me. I never got a parking ticket and I wanted to know why somebody else got caught. And that's what made me look inside."

She said she wonders why a parking officer didn't see what she saw.

Morpeau's family had not heard from him for a few days before his body was discovered, according to a Fort Lauderdale police report.

But they needn't worry. An email from the assistant clerk said the city dismissed the $160 in parking fees, "due to extenuating circumstances."

Bizarrely,
Lewis

P.S. Did you miss an issue? You can read every issue from the Gophercentral library of newsletters on our exhaustive archives page. Thousands of issues, all of your favorite publications in chronological order. You can read AND comment. Click http://gopherarchives.gophercentral.com

Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com




*------ "Ay, Yo! Get Me Outta Dis Vent!" ------*
Police found and arrested a New York man stuck in an air vent after he allegedly attempted to break into a local pizzeria. The man was found lodged in a vent in the roof of a Pontillo's pizzeria in Penfield when Monroe County Sheriff's deputies responded to reports of a man yelling. The alleged attempted burglar was identified as 44-year-old Richard Graham of Rochester and was transported to a local hospital where he was treated for minor injuries. "He was as far down as he could go without coming out on top of an oven," Penfield assistant fire chief Earl Lubanski told the Democrat and Chronicle. "The ductwork got narrower as you get down closer to the kitchen." Cpl. John Helfer of Monroe County Sheriff's Office said Graham caused $2,000 in damages and was arraigned on charges of third-degree burglary, second-degree criminal mischief and possession of burglary tools.

------------------------------------------------------------

*----------- That's Security for You -----------*
The New York Police Department released security camera footage of a man walking up to an armored truck and walking off with a $1.6 million bucket of gold. The department released security camera footage this week of the incident in midtown Manhattan, where the back of the truck had been left unattended while two men talked in front of the vehicle. The video shows a man casually taking the 86-pound bucket of gold flakes from the back of the truck and casually walking away. The man appears to struggle with the heavy bucket and takes frequent breaks -- traveling about a 10-minute distance in about an hour before getting into a van. "I think he just saw an opportunity, took the pail and walked off," NYPD Detective Martin Pastor told local news. Police said the suspect is believed to have fled to Florida, possibly in the Miami or Orlando areas.




*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*
Aside from the old joke, 'you never buy beer, you only rent it,' I have always wondered why some beers smelled like carbonated urine. Now I know.


Lewis, I'd have suspected a man with the surname Colon instantly--I mean come on, almost everything can be blamed on urination of origin. -Lily


Why did the Missouri guy have to cut his girlfriend in order to drink her blood? Why didn't he just wait until the end of the month?
[I have no response to that comment.]

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*