Wednesday, July 30, 2014


Greetings fellow Bizarros:

It is true that love is a battlefield, especially in Pennsylvania where naked women run around the streets stabbing each other.

Now that is how you start a story.

Allegheny County Housing Authority police were trying to identify a naked woman who allegedly slashed or stabbed three other women in an apparent lovers' quarrel at a public housing complex...because where else would something like that happen?

Police did not immediately release the names of any of the other women involved in the incident.

Chief Mike Vogel says one woman accompanied by one friend and another woman accompanied by two others clashed on the street...sort of like a lesbian West Side Story.

That is when the naked woman became involved, dashing into the fray out of nowhere like a psychotic Zorro, swinging like crazy - and whipping her knife around too.

Police planned to charge the five women who met to fight, as well as the naked woman - though none of the other women would identify her.

Two women were treated at hospitals for stab or slash wounds.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com


*------- You Think Getting Auto Texts Is Bad -------*
JAROSLAW, Poland, -- A Polish priest claims that "an evil spirit" has taken over the body of a teenager, and that the demon within the girl is sending him nasty text messages. Father Marian Rajchel performed an exorcism on the girl; he claims the texts started coming shortly thereafter. The exorcism obviously didn't take. "The author of these texts is an evil spirit who has possessed her soul," Rajchel told local media members. "Clearly this young girl has been possessed, and needs further help." Father Rajchel says that it's not uncommon for demons to possesses people and use their wireless technology. "She will not come out of this hell. She's mine. Anyone who prays for her will die," read one message from the girl. "Shut up, preacher. You cannot save yourself. Idiot. You pathetic old preacher," said another.

[Sounds like the kind of language a Polish demon would use.]

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*---- Fish Dream Led Woman to slit husband's throat ----*
DILLONVALE, Ohio -- An Ohio woman claimed that a dream about "filleting a fish" led to her slit her husband's throat while he slept at their home. Judy Jones was charged with attempted murder and aggravated assault after she allegedly nearly killed her husband by cutting his throat from ear-to-ear. It's believed that the husband would have died if Jones' 16-year-old daughter had not called 911 immediately and summoned emergency help. The couple's daughter reportedly told investigators that her mother had been planning the covert attack for about a year. "He's got stitches from almost (ear to ear) so we just have to wait for it to go through the court system," Abdalla said.

[Apparently the daughter didn't think the information about his impending assassination was important enough to share with her father. Thanks sweetie.]

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*------ READER COMMENTS ------*
Cows in the back seat? Using them like drug mules? Aren't cows kind of big? This must be the new way to transport drugs. Hopefully this won't spread world wide. Imagine, outlawing steaks, hamburgers, hot dogs and other meats. Most fast food chains would be outlawed. Whole economies would collapse. All because of three cows in the backseat. Thank you Abbot and Costello.
[Fast food restaurants are already drug distribution centers. There was a story just last week of a McDonald's employee selling drugs at work. Now that's a happy meal.]


Hey Lewis, I think I found one better. Here's a story on 4...that's FOUR cattle stuffed into a Proton Wira and the article even has a photo.
[Must be pygmy cows.]


Hi Lewis.. To Rick: that's not a nice thing to say to Lewis, even if you are irritated by him. Just threaten to cut off his balls.. seems to be a sore spot (lol) with him! -Patty
[That's not as easy as you might think. My wife has been trying for years.]

*----- END OF READER COMMENTS -----*