GopherCentral Book Collection
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Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Archeology hasn't been this sexy since Harrison Ford banged
Kate Capshaw in Temple of Doom. Although this might be a
little creepier.
It seems scientists have pieced together what appears to
be the world's oldest sex toy from more than a dozen frag-
ments found in a cave complex in Germany.
The 30,000-year-old siltstone phallus was a rare find since
examples of masculinity from that period are unusual to
stumble upon, although female-inspired works of art are
rather common.
Even more remarkable than its sexual function is the fact
that this multi-use tool was also apparently used to ignite
fires. There are tell-tale marks and chips where it was
used for striking against flints.
So why are experts convinced it was also a female sexual
aid? Perhaps because the other end was polished, rounded
and featured raised rings, clearly carved there for her
pleasure!
Nobody ever said German chicks weren't kinky, even the
Neanderthals!
Bizarrely,
Lewis
P.S. Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER:
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+-------------------- Bizarre Video ----------------------+
Stunt Pilot Loses Wing And Lands Successful
This is amazing as a stunt pilot goes into a roll & loses
his right wing. The pilot regains control and brings the
plane in for a soft landing without injury. All caught on
video from an witness at the airshow. You won't believe
your eyes.
Watch It Now: http://www.evtv1.com/player.aspx?itemnum=13634
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6. Celebrities: Before and After Make-Up
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-------- Septuagenarian memorizes 'Paradise Lost' ---------
MIDDLETON, Conn. - Connecticut researchers said they have
scientifically verified a man's claims of memorizing the
entirety of the epic poem "Paradise Lost" by John Milton.
John Basinger, 76, of Middleton, said it took him eight
years to memorize the some 60,000 words of the poem and
he can recite the entire 17th century work in three 8-hour
sessions, The Hartford (Conn.) Courant reported. John
Seamon, a psychology professor at Middleton's Wesleyan
University, said he tested Basinger under clinical
conditions after seeing him perform a portion of the poem.
He said the researchers recited two lines from the poem
at random and Basinger was able to correctly recite the
next 10 lines nearly 90 percent of the time. Seamon said
Basinger's memorization method was relatively unusual due
to the absence of mnemonic devices or constant repetition.
He said Basinger, who retired from teaching theater in
1993, spent much of his memorization time connecting to
the characters emotionally and trying to understand their
motivations.
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---------- Shelter seeks Viagra donations for dog ----------
HUNTINGTON, N.Y. - Workers at a New York state animal
shelter said they were seeking people to donate erectile
dysfunction pill Viagra to treat a dog's heart condition.
Employees at the Little Shelter Animal Rescue and Adoption
Center in Huntington said Ingrid, a 6-year-old pit bull,
requires two of the pills each day to treat a heart
condition, WPIX-TV, New York, reported. The workers said
they were asking for donations of the pills, which were
originally developed as a potential heart medication, due
to the $10 per pill cost for Ingrid.
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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
of the strange, the bizarre and the supernatural. Get The
Best of Bizarre News II Uncensored right here...F-R-E-E!
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Going on lecturing venues is how quacks make money. It is
like the classic make money fast lecture. If the advice
worked, why would anyone give a lecture on it? Or Jay
Leno's favorite headline: Psychic wins the lottery. (It
has never happened.) -John
[Hmmm...in that case I wonder how much I could charge for
a lecture appearance.]
I peed on an electric fence... Believe me, you can feel it!
I was wandering around a farmer's field in Wisconsin when
nature called. I went to the bushes and peed. Wham, I
thought I was stung by a bee or hornet! I looked down and
couldn't find any bug or insect. The pain went away so I
continued to pee and, Wham, it happened again! -andy
[You felt a sharp pain in your penis...and you tried to
do it again? Might not have been the smartest decision.]
what's a few trillion these days when it's really only
paper and the ink cost's more? -john
[What? Don't you think the privately owned Federal Reserve
Bank has your best interests in mind?]
If the satellites are moving faster than we and their
clocks slower than ours, they are slowly slipping into our
past. Does this mean they will eventually disappear? -Walt
[Nope. It means they are slowly slipping into our future.
Time is moving more SLOWLY for them.]
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
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