Saturday, August 4, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Get arrested for possession of marijuana and the cops handled you a little roughly? There is only one way to deal with that. The Newport way.

Let me introduce you to Roger Pion. The 34-year-old farmer had been arrested last month for marijuana and resisting arrest. In retaliation for this slight to his dignity Pion did something most of us have only dreamed of doing; he drove his 15-ton tractor to the Orleans County sheriff's office and used it to drive over every single vehicle in the parking lot, completely crushing seven parked police cars before tractoring away.

The deputies, closed up in their offices with the air conditioning running, didn't even hear the destruction occurring in their own parking lot. They were only alerted when a neighbor called 911 to let them know what was going on.

The destruction was so complete the deputies had nothing to pursue him with. However, a few miles down the road Pion was stopped by city police.

Damage to the vehicles is estimated at more than $300,000. Not only were their roofs and hoods caved in, the radios were ruined, the radar detectors, the cages in the cars. The department needed the jaws of life to pry the trunks open to retrieve the rifles and shotguns.

Pion is faces seven counts of felony unlawful mischief and one misdemeanor count of unlawful mischief on suspicion of damaging the cars.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- More Bizarre August Holidays --*
August 11 is Presidential Joke Day
August 12 is Middle Child's Day
August 13 is Blame Someone Else Day
August 14 is National Creamsicle Day
August 15 is National Relaxation Day and National Failures Day
August 16 is Bratwurst Festival
August 17 is National Thriftshop Day
August 18 is Bad Poetry Day
August 19 is Potato Day
August 20 is National Radio Day

(Even More 'Bizarre August Holidays' Next Issue)

*-- Woman didn't know she was pregnant --*
GENEVA-ON-THE-LAKE, Ohio - An Ohio woman said a police officer helped deliver her baby when she didn't even know she was pregnant. McKenzie Acierno said she and her husband called 911 early Sunday when she was experiencing severe stomach pains, the Ashtabula (Ohio) Star Beacon reported Wednesday. "I told my husband that it felt almost like I was having a baby," she said. Geneva-on-the-Lake auxiliary police officer Sandy Davis arrived at the home and discovered Acierno was indeed having a baby. "I had no idea I was pregnant," Acierno said. "I had no side effects, no morning sickness or anything. Suddenly, there was a lot of pain and then there was a baby. Two pushes and that was it." The baby girl was born at 6 pounds, 14 ounces. She is the couple's third child.

*-- Teacher made up car death to skip work --*
SHOTTS, Scotland - A Scottish disciplinary panel heard how a high school music teacher made up a story about running over a small girl in his car to get out of work. Joyce Kilmartin, head teacher at Calderhead High School in Shotts, said Derek McGlone, 42, fabricated stories on a "number of occasions" to take time off from work, The Daily Telegraph reported Thursday. "He started off telling a few silly lies. He then lied about knocking a girl over and killing her -- he said he felt his car wheels running over her body," Kilmartin told the General Teaching Council Scotland hearing. McGlone said he was "embarrassed and sorry" for his actions. "I can give no reasonable explanation for my actions," he said. The panel handed down a 12-month reprimand against McGlone's name on the teaching register.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, about the bike crash story-I don't find it hard to believe the part about the lawyer winning all those cases. It's just like the woman who burned herself with. hot coffee due to her own stupidity and then successfully sued McDonald's for it. -Chris
[Hey! Plowing into the back of a truck on a motorcycle going 100 mph with a passenger on the back is one thing, but a woman burning her vagina with hot coffee is serious.]

Look it up on youtube! Key words; Lawsuit, Connecticut, motorcycle. -David
[I did find it, and I don't recommend watching it. Basically it is a snuff film. Very disturbing. What I don't understand is why the truck company didn't sue the family of the idiot driving the motorcycle for scratching the paint on the truck. That would have made more sense than the survivor suing the trucking company.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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