Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

The economy continues its turmoil. Employment is sluggish, debt is up, enrollment for supplemental nutrition assistance (food stamps) is at its highest ever and home prices have dropped for six straight months.

Things are so bad that one California couple spent a meager $5,000 on a wedding.

For their dogs.

But despite the budget affair, more than 100 friends and crazy people met at the clubhouse at the Palm Desert Resort Country Club to watch the bride, Scruffy, walk down a faux grass carpet aisle to her groom, Snickers, who waited under a flower decorated trellis.

The wedding -- thrown by the mother of the bride, Ernie Rubin, and the groom's mother, Ann Carter -- was complete with a wedding cake, open bar, reception and "priest" performing the vows.

In lieu of gifts, Rubin and Carter asked for donations to benefit the Orphan Pet Oasis Humane Society of the Desert in North Palm Springs.

"In planning this event Ernie and Ann wanted to make sure that a charity was involved and they felt strongly about what we do at the society," said society representative and guest Jennifer Hamilton.

Of course, every bride wants to look her best on her wedding day -- Scruffy included. Rubin dressed Scruffy in a custom couture dress, leash and veil.

Snickers donned a doggie tuxedo designed by Spoiled Dog Design.

"I hope this will enlighten people who take on a pet to realize that they are more than just an animal, they are a lifetime toddler," one guest commented.

Originally the two canines wanted just an small, intimate wedding, but once word of the upcoming pup-tials got out, Rubin and Carter were flooded with requests to attend.

After the ceremony was over and the priest announced, 'You may now sniff the bride's ass,' the happy husband and wife spent the afternoon chasing each other, and snacking on dog treats while their owners and two legged guests danced and mingled.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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*-- Man charged with felony for stealing soda --*
NAPLES, Fla. - After leaving a Naples, Fla., McDonald's without paying for a cup of soda, Mark Abaire, 52, is in hot water, facing a felony theft charge, police say. Abaire walked into the restaurant around 10 p.m. Thursday and asked the employee at the counter if he could have a cup for water. When he was given one, he went to the soda fountain and filled it with soda instead, then left to sit outside. A manager told police he asked Abaire to pay for the soda and he refused, and then remained on the premises after being asked to leave. He then cursed at the manager, prompting them to call the police. Due to previous petty theft convictions, what would have been a misdemeanor petty theft charge was escalated to a felony, which could earn Abaire up to five years in jail and a $5,000 fine. He also faces charges of trespassing and disorderly intoxication, the Daily News (Naples, Fla.) reported.

*-- Tsunami soccer ball lands in Alaska --*
ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A soccer ball swept into the Pacific Ocean in Japan's deadly earthquake and tsunami in March 2011 has washed ashore in Alaska, its owner confirmed. The ball was found by David Baxter on the shore of Middleton Island, south of the Alaskan mainland, the Kyodo news agency reported. His Japanese wife Yumi translated writing on the ball as messages from Grade 3 school children in 2005 for a 16-year-old high school student in Iwate Prefecture, an inland region in northern Japan. Kyodo contacted the teenager, Misaki Murakami, who confirmed he had owned the ball and couldn't find it after the tsunami. There are increasing amounts of tsunami debris washing ashore in the United States and Canada, although the bulk of the "debris field" isn't expected to wash ashore until 2014, oceanographers have said. Last month, in the Gulf of Alaska, the U.S. Coast Guard sank an abandoned 164-foot Japanese fishing boat cast adrift by the disaster as it was deemed a hazard to other ships.

*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis; These pheromone parties could set back the cosmetic industry a hundred years. The cosmetic industry exists because we try to hide our natural body odors. -Wes

Everyone is so against the police that arrested that little girl....What about the fucking parents where are they? There is too much going on with small children that the parents need to be DISCIPLINED. -Shelley
[You don't have to preach to me. I believe children should be beaten regularly.]

I knew this guy many years ago that always seemed to attract ladies like flies to honey at the club. I once asked him why and he said that after he had showered and was getting ready to go out he would take a handkerchief and rub it around on his privates, fold it up and put it in his shirt pocket.
[Not so bizarre. Back in my clubbing days I used to surreptitiously urinate on the barstools where women I found attractive were sitting.]

Lewis, I used to work for the Sheriffs Dept. When in training, I was told the hand cuff deal is to protect the suspect. PS have you ever tried to sit with handcuffs on? -Wayne
[Sure. All you have to do is...I mean...no. I have never had to try to sit with handcuffs on.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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