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Wednesday, June 22, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

If there is one thing people from Maine take seriously, it's lobster. And Lighthouses. And maybe moose. But if you don't want to get on the bad side of a Mainer fast, leave their beer alone. A lesson that was learned the hard way by one man who couldn't resist helping himself to a short-tempered neighbor's brews.

A man was arrested on a charge of murder after allegedly cutting of the head of his neighbor who stole a 6-pack of beer from his home, according to police in Maine.

Limington police said that they have arrested 57-year-old Bruce Akers, after being accused of using a machete to kill his neighbor, 55-year-old Douglass Flint.

Akers was charged with one count of murder. According to the police, Akers led officers to Flint's grave after he was confronted about the murder.

He had buried Flint beneath a rotting deer on his property.

Akers told police that he would have called in his crime right away, but he wanted a few hours of freedom. Maybe to polish off a few beers.


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*------- Tesla Floats Past Stranded Cars -------*

A Tesla owner in Kazakhstan showed off his car's ability to traverse a flooded tunnel and the video caught the attention of CEO Elon Musk. Sanzhar Altayev posted a video to YouTube showing what happened when he drove his Tesla Model S through a flooded tunnel filled with stalled and stranded cars. Altayev's car begins to float and is able to make it to the other side of the flood, where it drives away on dry land. "When Tesla enters flooded tunnel it starts to float! Any weather is grace with Tesla! Shame to skeptics!" Altayev wrote. The video caught the attention of Tesla Motors CEO Elon Musk, who confirmed the car's capabilities. "We *def* don't recommended this, but Model S floats well enough to turn it into a boat for short periods of time. Thrust via wheel rotation," Musk tweeted.


*-------------- Bounce House Flies ---------------*

A bounce house took flight from a New York state family's yard and soared on the wind until eventually colliding with some power lines. The rented bounce house was being used for a birthday party at a Niagara County home when a gust of wind carried the inflatable structure away while no children were inside, the residents said. A video captured by the family shows the bounce house flying high into the air. "Is everyone accounted for?" a woman's voice asks in the video as the bounce house soars overhead. The bounce house can then be seen flying toward some power lines and a transmission tower. "It's going to hit the power lines!" a man's voice says. The man proves correct, and the bounce house strikes the power lines, setting off a flurry of sparks. The National Grid said workers removed the bounce house Saturday. A spokesman said power was temporarily shut off to protect the workers. Michael Gersitz, owner of Party in Buffalo Bounce House Rentals, said the bounce house likely was not adequately anchored.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Wiseman say "He who gets caught with pants DO NOT RUN!" Ken, Indiana
[I thought wise men say, 'only fools rush in.']

LEWIS ; So this New York mama is suing the homeowners and 100 party guests because her 29 year-old daughter got drunk and drowned in the swimming pool and none of the people at the party kept watch on her regarding her drinking or irresponsible actions while drunk. Hey Mama! Didn't you ever have a serious talk with your daughter before she reached legal drinking age about drinking responsibly? It's not the job of other party guests to act as her keepers. Hopefully this idiotic lawsuit will be thrown out of court. -R.S.

Hey, Queetzal, where are you going to come clean and admit that you ate Lewis and have been posing as him all this time? Bizarre News readers deserve to know the truth.
[The bag of mostly water known as Lewis assures you that he is still the mammalian human you know.]

Hello Lewis, The charges of theft and fraud are obvious but that of indecent exposure is not. Can you or anyone else elaborate?
[While possible, it is not all that easy to have sex in a vehicle in public while keeping your clothes on. Believe me.]

Stealing a credit card while having sex is not that impressive. I heard of people being on their phones and computers, eating food, sewing, building model airplanes and putting together a shelving unit from the IKEA while bumping uglies. You can do just about anything during sex these days. --Gibby

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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