January 23, 2016
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
There is something about animal cruelty that really sets me off. I'm the kind of guy who thinks that casual marijuana users shouldn't have to face jail time, but the guy in today's story I would show no hesitation in putting away.
According to a police report, deputies in West Palm Beach, Fla. received an anonymous call from someone who claimed to have seen a man "kicking and throwing his dog around." The caller believed that the man was going to kill the dog.
The responding deputy found 28-year-old Javier Orelly "digging a grave in front of his apartment," the report said. Next to the grave was the body of a large black dog without a head. The decapitated head was resting on top of two rocks.
The deputy saw "two large knives, a small ax and some money" on a red towel. Behind the dog's head was a piece of the dead animal's skin attached to a stick. Below it was a carving with the word "tortura" in large letters.
According to the report, Orelly initially said the dog bit him, but he later changed his story and said "the dog looked at him weird, so he stabbed it in the neck."
A dead duck was also found next to the dog. Orelly said he also killed the duck. According to the report, "Orelly was stressed out and needed to sacrifice animals to cleanse himself."
Apparently he never heard of Xanax, or a couple stiff shots of whiskey, or a massage, or pretty much anything other than torturing a couple of helpless animals. With any luck maybe he'll try decapitating himself the next time he feels stressed.
Orelly was arrested and faces two counts of animal cruelty.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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*-- Bungee-Aided Ski Jump Ends in Disaster --*
FREDERICTON, New Brunswick - A group of Canadian daredevils using bungee cords to aid their ski jumps caught video of a high-speed crash caused by doubling up on bungees. The video, posted by James Fitzpatrick, shows a skier in Fredericton, New Brunswick, attempt to use two 20-foot banshee bungee cords to propel him over a ski jump. The skier's high speed quickly sends him out of control, and he can be seen falling backside-first toward the earth. The uploader jokingly titled the video, "Death by Banshee Bungee," but the skier was not injured. "We decided one 20 foot long banshee bungee wasn't enough speed to clear the gap, we doubled up and used two 20 footers.... this crash was the result!" Fitzpatrick wrote.
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*-- Veteran Uses Wheelchair to Plow Snow --*
BELLEVUE, Neb. - A Nebraska veteran is continuing to serve his country and turning heads locally by converting his wheelchair into a snowplow for sidewalks. Justin Anderson, an Iraq War veteran living in Bellevue, was given an off-road wheelchair by the Independence Fund charity to help him get around after his leg was amputated, and he decided to use the gift to help others in his community. "I don't want kids or parents having to go through the snow and possibly trip or hurt themselves," Anderson said. "I had a half-dozen people stop to take a picture because they hadn't seen a chair like this before." Anderson said he first fitted the snow blade to his chair last year. "The chair has on-the-fly tilt so I can adjust the height of the blade as I push snow," he said. Anderson said he enjoys the opportunity to give back to the community.
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*-------- READER COMMENTS --------*
I think it's amusing that the reader correcting your grammar obviously didn't care about his/her own. "Grammatically correctly" is not correct either. I think we now know who the real monkey is. -Chris
$1.6 million for 200 pounds of Xanax? Seems like a lot to me. I mean, I know Canada has cheaper drugs than you can find in the United Corporate Gangster States of America, but if I can make $1.6 million for a few anti-anxiety pills I think I'm going to invest in a white snowsuit and a sled.
[How does that saying go? It's only illegal if you get caught.]
Here I thought everybody in Florida had sharks in their pools. Isn't that something they just deal with down there? Like fire ants and hurricanes?
*------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------*