Wednesday, October 16, 2013

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

You wouldn't think this kind of thing would work, but a Canadian man, who apparently watched a lot of Three Stooges, managed to survive being attacked by a black bear by grabbing its tongue.

Gilles Cyr said he was walking in his woodlot when the bear ran out of the woods, knocked him to the ground and stood over him.

"His mouth was wide open right in front of my face so the last thing I remember I had his tongue in my hand and I didn't want to let go because he was trying to fight me off," he said.

"So he was hitting me with his claws, so I says, 'If you're going to hurt me, I'm going to hurt you too.'"

Cyr, suffering claw marks to his belly and knee, managed to escape behind a tree. The bear eventually lost interest. Cyr did not have a chance to try poking the bear in the eyes, slapping it or hitting it on the head with a hammer.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

Questions? Comments? Email Lewis


* North Carolina town celebrates legendary beast *
BLADENBORO, N.C. - Organizers of BeastFest in a North Carolina town said the annual event celebrates a local legendary monster blamed for dog deaths in the 1950s. Berry Lewis, organizer of the Nov. 2 BeastFest in Bladenboro, said the celebration usually brings about 6,000 people to the town, which has a population of less than 2,000, The Charlotte Observer reported Monday. "The biggest thing we had going for us, what put us on the map, was the beast," Lewis said. The legend of the Beast of Bladenboro began in 1953 when about a half dozen dogs were discovered with their heads crushed and their bodies drained of blood. The mystery brought an estimated 1,000 visitors to the town to hunt the unknown creature. Jefferson Weaver, a reporter for the Bladen Journal, said legends spread about escaped circus animals in the area, but no such incidents were officially reported. However, many considered the mystery solved when an ocelot, a wild cat native to Mexico, was discovered in the area. The beast's popularity was revived as a means to draw in tourists after the town's mill closed down in 2000. The seventh annual BeastFest is scheduled to include food, live music and an appearance from the festival's mascot.


*-- Living descendants of 5,300-year-old 'Iceman' identified --*
INNSBRUCK, Austria - Scientists say DNA analysis allowed them to identify 19 living Austrian men related Oetzi the Iceman, whose 5,300-year-old frozen body was found in the Alps. Researchers at the Institute of Legal Medicine at Innsbruck Medical University said the DNA tests were taken from blood donors in Tyrol. The men who matched the Iceman's DNA have not been informed of the connection, the BBC reported. The same mutation might be found in the nearby Swiss region of Engadine and in Italy's South Tyrol region, institute researcher Walther Parson said. "We have already found Swiss and Italian partners so that we can pursue our research," he said. Women were not included in the study, the researchers said, as matching their genes to the Iceman would require a different procedure than the one used in tracking male genes. Experts have determined Oetzi, found frozen in the Italian Alps in 1991, died from a wound caused by an arrow.


*-- READER COMMENTS --*
Lewis, I may disagree with you about guns but I certainly agree with you on everything else. Keep up the good work. I love your comments.
[I'm sorry, but if you don't agree with my opinions about guns I am going to have to unsubscribe you.]

It seems like the weatherman eats off the floor regularly and can tell which pet threw up. He also has tasted shoes in the past.
[Well, weathermen don't make as much as you might think.]

Wow. A guy who refused a MFF threesome that his girlfriend was offering? That is the bizarrest. -Kevin

Just quit making the bullets! -Donna
[Problem solved.]

I use to read your stories all the time. But due to the complications of life I got away from them. Well I'm back and want to say thank you because after reading the stuff you write here I realize my life ain't so bad after all.
[Just remember: if your girlfriend brings a stripper home and asks you to have sex with both of them...do it!]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*
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