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Bizarre News - January 13, 2016


Greetings fellow Bizarros:

There is nothing like the excitement of young love, except maybe the excitement of petty larceny.

A couple was arrested a short time after they got engaged at a Walmart in Michigan. 25-year-old William Cornelius popped the question to his girlfriend over the loudspeaker system at the giant discount retailer.

People at the superstore in Bay City cheered and applauded while Cornelius got down on his knee to propose with a ring he bought for $29.62.

Young love, right?

But perhaps the 30 bucks exhausted the young man's entertainment budget, because the lovers were accused of celebrating their engagement by shoplifting.

According to the police, the couple took some jewelry, including a necklace. They then went to the nearby Spencer's gift shop, where they are accused of shoplifting adult toys and an edible thong.

The couple was arrested at the mall, where Cornelius was found asleep on a food court table. Police recovered $80 worth of stolen items.

Cornelius blamed his actions on the pain reliever which he took earlier that day. He was arrested on a charge of fraud, while his fiancee was charged with larceny.

At least those edible underwear will come in handy in the holding cell.

Bizarrely,
Lewis

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Questions? Comments? Email: lewis@gophercentral.com



*----- Man robs bank armed with a Bible -----*

NASHVILLE -- Authorities are seeking to identify a man who robbed a Nashville bank while armed only with a Bible. The Metropolitan Nashville Police Department said it is working with the FBI to attempt to identify the man who walked into a Bank of America branch about 2:30 p.m. Friday while carrying the holy book. The man, whom police said did not display a weapon, handed a note demanding cash to a teller. The suspect fled in an older-model red car. Police said he dropped his Bible on his way out of the bank. Police are asking members of the public to help identify the suspect.

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Drunk, naked and urinating on police is no way to go through life, Mom.

This story might sound familiar, but a woman in Florida has been arrested on a charge of child neglect after allegedly abandoning her son because she didn't want him anymore. Daytona Beach police said that they have arrested 34-year-old Jennifer Cael for child neglect and resisting arrest. Officers who arrived at the scene, were greeted by a security guard, who said that Cael abandoned her son. The officers found the boy in good health and eating a cookie. Cael they found naked and under the influence of alcohol. She refused to tell the officers her name and punched one of them in the chest. She then urinated on them. I'd love to know exactly how that happened. A Department of Children and Families worker took custody of the boy.

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*-- READER COMMENTS --*

Just out of curiosity, if you do end up eating a live chicken, will you be allowed to cover it with barbecue sauce?
[How do you eat your live chickens?]


I agree with you, Lewis. A discovery of that magnitude (a wormhole or warp or vortex or whatever you want to call it) would be impossible to hide or cover up. Unless people in Switzerland are as stupid as they are here...which would be pretty hard to believe.


tell this asshole (his words, not mine) that it is WOULD LIVE not WOOD LIVE.


Lewis, Texas has the 'safe baby drop-off' law also. The location usually mentioned is at Fire Stations, but there may be other options available. No questions asked.
[Just look for the baby-shaped slot in the door.]

*-- END OF READER COMMENTS --*