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Saturday, February 13, 2010
Greetings fellow Bizarros:
Here is a perfect Valentine's Day story. It seems an 18-
year-old woman in northern Sweden has been charged with
harassment after taping pictures of her ex-boyfriend's
private parts on lampposts around his home.
I guess that would be embarrassing enough, but the scorned
teen also scrawled her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend's name and
phone number on the pictures, along with an unflattering
comment about the size of his sex organ.
I guess there was nothing in the photos to give the poor
guy's johnson any perspective.
Appalled that her former lover had ended their short
relationship, the 18-year-old peppered him with text
messages imploring him to rethink matters.
On hearing that he had met a 23-year-old woman and did not
want anything more to do with her, the enraged girl re-
directed her ire at her new love rival. She began hanging
up pictures of the woman, her cleavage heavily exposed,
with a note suggesting she was a "slut" who was only in-
terested in the 24-year-old for sex.
The 18-year-old also hurled eggs at, and affixed pictures
to, her ex-lover's car.
When she was eventually questioned by police, the woman
confessed and said she realized that what she did was
wrong. On the plus side, the man did get several promising
phone calls from the posters.
Bizarrely,
Lewis
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+------------------ Bizarre Love Stories ------------------+
Peter the Great had his wife's lover executed and his head
put into a jar of alcohol. She had to keep it in her bed-
room.
After having a two year affair with Catherine the Great,
Gregory Aleksandrovich Potemkin remained a valued advisor
to Catherine. He even helped her pick out future lovers.
Cleopatra married two of her brothers and was the mistress
of both Caesar and Mark Antony.
Fernade Olivier lived with Picasso for seven years. They
wanted to marry but Olivier couldn't find her estranged
husband to divorce him. In the 1940's she found out he
had died right after she met Picasso - 40 years earlier.
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--------------- Man 'Stink Bombs' Wal-Mart ---------------
PORT ORCHARD, Wash. - Authorities in Washington state
said a Wal-Mart was evacuated after a man allegedly made
patrons ill with "Stink Bombs" and "Super Fart Spray."
South Kitsap County Fire & Rescue crews said about 75
people were evacuated from the store at about 12:40 p.m.
Sunday, some of them complaining of headaches from the
foul odor, the Kitsap (Wash.) Sun reported Thursday.
Deputies said the man had reportedly been throwing liquid
onto the floor of the store. He admitted to dumping the
liquid and deputies found bottles labeled "Stink Bombs"
and a can of "Super Fart Spray" in his possession,
officials said. The 51-year-old man reportedly told
deputies he sprayed the chemicals as a joke. The man was
banned from Wal-Mart and a report was sent to the local
prosecutor's office.
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----------- Store unveils cashmere toilet paper -----------
LONDON - A high-end British supermarket promises its
latest brand of toilet paper, made with cashmere, is "the
most luxurious yet." Carla Smith, buyer for supermarket
Waitrose, said the cashmere paper is the latest in a line
that includes toilet paper with aloe vera and jojoba
extracts, The Sun reported Thursday. "Cashmere provides
that stamp of quality to any fashion garment, from a
designer suit to the finest luxury knitwear," Smith said.
"It's indulgent, it's stylish and it's helping provide
that extra softness to our new premium bathroom tissue
collection." The cashmere toilet paper retails for $3.60
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Lewis, don't you know even the basics of Fart Club? He who
denies it, supplies it. The last thing you want to do is
deny it.
[That only works in sixth grade.]
Lewis - concerning the guy who lost his class ring and that
lady found it on a beach? In her letter to him she said she
would only need a small "shipping fee" to send it back to
him and would need his checking account number, social sec
num, routing number and credit card. The wire fee was routed
through nigeria ... James
Roman soldiers were paid with salt. from whence we get the
word "salary" also, they were "worth their salt" ...! -mike
[You should follow the Word Professor Twitter blog. Go to
http://www.gophertweets.com/ to follow! You can follow the
Bizarre News blog there, too, by the way.]
I keep my gun loaded, and ready to go in case attacked by
Canadians. Call me paranoid, but I'm not going to be caught
holding my pecker when that mountain of lameness comes
crashing down. -Ben
[They are a credible threat, what with their superior Zamboni
technology.]
The Chief Medical Examiner of Oklahoma has been suspended
after an investigation about sexual harassment in the work-
place. The kicker is that the person sent in to investigate
the claims was overwhelmed with the sexual tension in the
office and actually succumbed to it. The investigator
started a game with all employees of the State Medical
Examiner's office to send the grossest sexual stories via
email and the investigator has now been terminated and
brought up on charges as well. Just thought this may be
an interesting story for your readers!
[At the GopherCentral offices we call that Monday.]
I have to respond to Sean in Canada's remark; "if the US quit
selling guns to the world there would be no more wars". The
most available and "dreaded" weapon of choice is the AK-47.
That is not a US manufactured gun. Many countries in the
world make that particular weapon. Yugoslavia makes one of
the best. Look at any video/picture of a terrorist and you
will always see the AK-47 being waved in the air.
-LL in Florida
------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------
Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
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