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Saturday, December 12, 2009

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Before we get on with the rest of BN I want to thank every-
body who wrote in with comments on the NASA conspiracy we
discussed in the last issue. Some of the more entertaining
comments are at the bottom of the page. For daily Bizarre
News make sure to follow this publication on Twitter!

http://www.gophertweets.com

Bizarrely,

Lewis

P.S. Now You Can Follow BIZARRE NEWS on TWITTER:
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--------- Police: Drunk woman passed out on horse ----------

SHELBYVILLE, Tenn. - Police in Tennessee said a horse
rider participating in a Christmas parade was arrested
when she drunkenly passed out atop the animal. Shelbyville
police said they received a report during Saturday night's
Christmas parade of an apparently inebriated woman "wear-
ing a red coat who was riding on a white horse" in the
parade, but officers could not locate the woman or her
mount on the Shelbyville square, the Shelbyville Times-
Gazette reported Thursday. Investigators said they found
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a North Cannon Boulevard motel about 15 minutes after
receiving the report. Moore was arrested and charged with
public intoxication. She was released after posting $500
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--------- Man arrested with geckos in underpants ----------

CHRISTCHURCH, New Zealand - New Zealand authorities said
a German tourist pleaded guilty to smuggling geckos and
skinks in his underwear. Authorities said customs officers
stopped Hans Kurt Kubusn, 58, Sunday at Christchurch
International Airport and discovered 43 endangered geckos
and skinks hidden in a package concealed in his underwear
and another was hidden in a rolled sock in his luggage,
Radio New Zealand reported Thursday. Investigators said
Kubusn was attempting to smuggle the animals, native to
New Zealand, back to Germany. Kubusn pleaded guilty in
Christchurch District Court to five counts of trading in
exploited species and two counts of hunting protected
wildlife. He was released on bail and is scheduled to be
sentenced Jan. 25.

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Let Lewis take you on an UNCENSORED journey into the world
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>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> READER COMMENTS <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lewis, that moon theory smacks of L Ron Hubbard and his
church of Scientology. Are you trying to create another
wacko religion? -Tom
[If I were would you send me a check? If so, then yes.]


That is easy. Jesus looks like the Jewish guy on the back
of the Shroud of Turin. Mary looks very similar but without
the beard. -John (Not from Ontario)


Hey Lewis! Your story about NASA reminded me of the time I
met astronaut Deke Slayton several years ago. He talked
about practical uses for space stations, among other things.
He said that space would be an ideal place for a medical
facility for burn patients. Deke Slayton also gave me one of
the best hugs I ever had after I told him a dirty joke about
female pilots. He doubled over laughing, then he threw his
arms around me and said, "God damn, girl, ya got me!" I'll
never forget that. Happy holidays! -Jody
[Well, now you have to tell us the joke!]


The pollutants that people put into the atmosphere do affect
global warming. However, I read a report some time ago that
said that when Mt. St.Helens erupted, it released more green-
house gases into the atmosphere that all the autos, factories
and campfires combined since the beginning of time. In com-
parison, what comes out of a car's tailpipe is trivial. Does
anyone know how much pollution is produced every time NASA
does a launch? I don't think NASA is very GREEN. -DaY


You had a letter about anti-warming and blaming some political
outlook for the problems including weather. Just to fill ya
in.... the weather can be semi-controlled. The USSR has gone
on record and tells country's for a fee it can deliver rain.
The US Military is running the HARP program in Alaska. The
Harp uses micro wave/infrared/lazer tools to agitate/heat
and "lift" the ionisphere, creating a vacumn which moves the
high altitude air gulf stream which controls storm formation
of the Northern Latitudes. This is a quick heads up, because
there is so much more info about all these problems. -Ron
[Weather control is not a new idea. They have been "seeding"
clouds for decades. What you're talking about is much more
high-tech...but it sounds like the energy it would take to
make anything more than small, local results would be pro-
hibitive to the point of impossible. Not that I doubt the
technology.]

------------------ END OF READER COMMENTS ------------------

Well, that is a wrap for Bizarre News. How did we do?
Send comments and questions to: mailto:lewis@gophercentral.com

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