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August 17, 2016

Greetings fellow Bizarros:

Sometimes, when you see two young women swimming naked in your pool, it is best to let them swim.

One officer learned that the hard way when he was kicked in the private parts after telling two young women to stop swimming naked in the pool of an apartment complex, according to police in South Carolina.

Myrtle Beach police said that they have arrested 23-year-old Kadie Lynne Naumann and 32-year-old Kyla Elizabeth Cole, after being accused of swimming naked in a pool.

According to the criminal complaint, some real killjoy called the police about 11 p.m. to report that two young women were swimming completely naked in the pool. The horror.

Officers who arrived at the scene and found the two women were, indeed, swimming naked in the pool, ordered them out. The women claimed they were invited to the apartment complex by their friend.

The women said that they wanted to go swimming, but they did not have their swimsuits, so they decided to go swimming in the nude. Makes perfect sense. Who is going to tell a 23-year-old woman NOT to take her clothes off?

The two women seemed very intoxicated, and had slurred speech. Police officers placed a towel on Naumann, but she threw it to the ground.

As the officer was placing handcuffs on Neumann, she kicked him in the groin.


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*-------- Woman Run Over by Her Own Car --------*

A Washington state driver's dashcam recorded the moment a woman got out of her car at a red light and was run over by her own vehicle. The footage recorded by David Alger's dashboard camera at the red light to get out of the Costco parking lot in Burlington shows a woman driving a white vehicle ahead of Alger. The video shows another driver pull up beside the woman and signal her that her gas cap is loose. "She just went to pick up the gas cap and realized the car was moving, so she went back to jump back into the car and grab the steering wheel," Alger said. "And as she grabbed the steering wheel with the car still moving forward, I would imagine the wheel turned to the left and that's when she was dragged underneath the left rear tire and run over. Both legs. Went right up over her buttock and over both legs." Alger, who is seen running to help the woman, said she insisted she was uninjured. "She wanted to take off after the vehicle and run through the intersection and I said, 'Whoa, hold on here. How are you, let me help you, hold on to me.' And she said, 'I'm fine. There's nothing wrong with me I'm fine,'" he said. Alger said the woman drove away after being checked out by police and paramedics.


*---------- Monkey See, Monkey Fight ----------*

An Ohio shopper captured video of an escaped monkey scuffling with a Walmart employee before being reclaimed by an owner in the store's parking lot. A video posted to Facebook shows the monkey struggling with a Walmart employee by the cart return station in the Lancaster store's parking lot. A woman, apparently the monkey's owner, runs up and pulls the two apart. "Let him go, let him go, let him go! If he bites you, they will put him down," the woman says. The woman and monkey then return to a nearby camper, which the primate apparently escaped from earlier. A Walmart representative said the monkey did not bite the employee and the woman was "grateful" to the worker for catching her unusual pet. The Ohio Department of Agriculture said it is working to identify the woman to determine whether she is an Ohio resident and, if so, whether her monkey is properly registered.

*-------------- READER COMMENTS --------------*

Hey Lewis, The De Longhs saw a woman steering with her feet while texting. What happened next? Did they get her license plate number and report her? Was she arrested? There are some major holes in this story. -Jody
[The only hole I can see is how in the hell she managed to get her feet on the steering wheel. I barely have enough room to drive with my knee while I'm drinking my coffee and having a danish on the way to work.]

Lewis, that story about the guy who thought his girlfriend was going to leave him reminds me of that old rhyme; if you love something set it free, if it doesn't come back, call in a bomb threat and terrorize it into staying with you. I think that's how it goes...

*----------- END OF READER COMMENTS ----------*

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